“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that count.” – Winston Churchill.
This is the story of Shivam, a 28-year-old analyst working in a US-based MNC.
Originally from Punjab, Shivam has completed his engineering and is now pursuing a demanding career.
“I have recently started living with my parents, and it has been great. Working from home allows me to spend quality time with my family.”
Shivam describes his relationship with his parents as typical but acknowledges that it has recently improved significantly.
“My hobbies and passions revolve around being very practical and sporty. I love watching cricket, football, and tennis. I’m a big fan! Sports are a daily part of my life.”
Shivam first heard about YourDOST through his previous organisation, BYJUs, which partners with the platform as its official mental health partner. Here, he chose Ms Ishita as his counsellor. Despite being naturally extroverted, Shivam initially found it challenging to trust someone new with his personal struggles.
“I’m a big-level extrovert who can chatter like a box. But then, in the beginning, it’s difficult to trust the person.”
However, he quickly realised that Ishita’s solution-oriented approach was just what he needed. She was always oriented towards how to get through things properly.
Shivam’s turning point came when he had to transition from working remotely to relocating to Bangalore for his job. Having spent almost a year working from home, the thought of moving to a new city where he knew no one filled him with anxiety.
“I had heard a lot about Bangalore. It’s a huge city, and you get a lot of traffic. I did not know anyone in Bangalore. I was having sleepless nights and not thinking properly.”
The prospect of adjusting to a new environment wasn’t the only challenge Shivam faced. At work, he struggled with setting boundaries. His manager frequently assigned tasks late in the day, leaving Shivam working late into the night.
“My manager loved giving me a lot of work. For example, he would call me at eight or nine o’clock and tell me to work at six o’clock, which would take five hours.”
Additionally, Shivam was in a long-distance relationship for three and a half years, and it ended abruptly, adding another layer of stress to his life. Balancing work, personal life, and the anxiety of a long-distance relationship became overwhelming.
During his sessions with Ishita, Shivam learned the importance of being assertive and setting boundaries.
“She did tell me a lot of things like how we have to be assertive about things and how there are certain boundaries which you should make, step by step, which will help you grow.”
The counselling sessions were structured around a step-by-step process, allowing Shivam to gradually build the skills he needed to manage his stress and workload effectively.
“I would always discuss that, okay, shall I say it this way? She’s a person who will let you give the answer instead. So it would build inside me.”
This approach helped him internalise and apply the lessons in his daily life.
Shivam noticed significant improvements in his well-being as he began implementing these changes. He found more time for himself, which allowed him to engage in activities he enjoyed, such as keeping his living space tidy and starting a gym routine.
“I could spend more time on my own, think about myself, and not just go after work. Earlier, work used to be in my mind almost 24 hours a day. But now, I know what are the boundaries.”
Shivam excelled in his job despite setting these boundaries, proving that a balanced approach could lead to sustained success.
Around this time in the gym, Shivam noticed a fellow gym-goer who seemed unusually downcast. He remembered his own struggles and observed him more.
“These days, I’ve been noticing he’s not happy. He was faking this smile. And I know because he would have a decent face. But these days, he’s using his phone during his workouts. He’s just frustrated and all.”
Recognising the signs of someone struggling, Shivam approached him with a compassionate message that he would have expected from someone during his struggling days.
“I told him that, buddy, I know that for you, sharing it with me will not make sense. But I would tell you that if there is a person you can tell, do tell. Don’t keep it inside you because you don’t know what thought can cause what to you.”
Compassion and empathy toward a fellow human being and observing someone’s pain were signs of healing, proving that Shivam had begun his journey towards betterment. He rates his progress at 4.5 out of 5 and believes there is always room for improvement.
“I’m grateful for Ms Ishita, as she’s been very calm with me. She has always helped me along the way. Her sense of understanding is obvious.”
We at YourDOST are confident that Shivam’s journey is just beginning, and we wish him continued success and happiness in future!
Shivam’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Focus on being assertive and setting boundaries to manage stress effectively.”
2.“Talk about your feelings with someone you trust; it can make a significant difference.”
3.“Always believe there is room for improvement and strive to become a better version of yourself.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
