Mental well-being in an individual develops from a young age, and we may not even realise how certain things affect us from childhood. Like Sheldon, from the Big Bang theory, who knocks three times on a door because of a childhood memory, we all are programmed after that to act by our unknown traumas. These unknown traits can be easily reversed with the proper techniques and guidance.
Meet Shilang, a 24-year-old educator and academician at Anant National University who graduated from the same institution in 2021.
Born and raised in the small town of Mehsana, Gujarat, Shilang spent the first half of his life there until he moved to Ahmedabad for college.
Shilang’s childhood was laced with contentment and happiness. He was raised by a single mother who was just 20 years old when he was born, as his parents divorced the same year, and he never had the opportunity to interact with his father.
Shilang’s mother, a dedicated cosmetologist and businesswoman, provided a comfortable and luxurious life. He had financial security and the freedom to pursue his interests. He also spent a significant amount of his childhood with his “Nanu and Nani” and his beloved furry friend, Jimmy.
“I’m grateful for everything my mother did for me, and she worked really hard to provide the best things in life for me.”
This early experience shaped his personality and contributed to his extroverted nature, which helped him make friends and excel in extracurricular activities.
Shilang first heard about YourDOST from his alma mater and his workplace, Anant National University, which partners with the organisation as its official mental health partner. Shilang chose Priyanka Jaiswal as his counsellor and was impressed by her authentic and empathetic approach.
“I’ve recommended Priyanka to many of my friends. She’s very empathetic and provides practical techniques that actually help”.
Shilang’s turning point came after he had shifted to Ahmedabad and started college. His extroverted personality helped him make many friends, and he was actively involved in academics and extracurricular activities.
He even started a drama club, using his theatre background to teach acting to other students. He entered a relationship with a junior batchmate by the end of his first year at college. However, in 2021, the relationship ended, leaving Shilang lost and heartbroken.
“Breaking up after four years was devastating. The relationship caused a lot of self-doubt, turmoil, and overthinking for me, so I decided to prioritise my well-being and walk away. I thought we were headed towards a future together, but it didn’t work out.”
The end of this relationship triggered a series of emotional challenges for him. Initially, he sought therapy but quickly quit as he felt it wasn’t helping.
“I was always the person who dealt with things on his own. I always thought that sharing or talking about things to someone or anyone would be pointless because either they wouldn’t understand or they’d say something in return that I didn’t want to hear, and it would trigger or upset me more. So I never took therapy seriously.”
Shilang met a friend during these times who became his rock in no time. It wasn’t until he met his friend, who had been in therapy for years, that he reconsidered his decision to seek therapy. She urged him to give therapy another try and emphasised the need for patience and perseverance in life.
“I was sceptical at first about sharing my concerns with a stranger, but I trusted her because I saw myself in her—we had similar lives and faced similar challenges. Our personalities were alike, and we connected emotionally right from the start. We shared similar coping mechanisms and viewed the world in much the same way. However, she also showed me a different perspective through her experiences with therapy, which really helped me.”.”
Once again, in the initial sessions, he felt that therapy wasn’t working, but he soon realised that progress takes time. He learned that healing doesn’t happen overnight and that you must be patient and trust the process.
Soon, Shilang realised that the issues arising from his breakup were just the tip of the iceberg. He discovered that his struggles went deeper, which were rooted in his overthinking tendencies and childhood traumas. He often found himself trapped in his thoughts, creating unrealistic scenarios and worrying about things that might never happen.
“My mind was always racing with unrealistic thoughts and worst-case scenarios. It was mentally and emotionally draining, and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Ms Priyanka introduced him to techniques like cognitive defusion, which involves writing down thoughts to prevent them from getting stuck in his mind. Journaling became a crucial tool for him to manage his overthinking.
“Initially, I didn’t think writing things down would help, but over time, it made me feel lighter and less burdened.”
Through therapy, Shilang began to identify and address the underlying issues affecting his mental health. He realised that unresolved childhood traumas were significant contributors to his overthinking and emotional distress. Being a designer in the creative industry, his tendency to overthink and imagine scenarios in his head had been over the top at the time.
“The techniques of redirecting my thoughts and channelling them helped me visualise and clarify my designs before bringing them to life. Learning to channel my overthinking into something constructive for my work has made a big difference.”
Therapy taught him this unexpected benefit of overthinking, and he feels great about improving both his work and his creative journey.
“I’m deeply grateful to Priyanka for being there for me. Her realistic approach and brutal honesty gave me the reality checks I needed. I now see the value in therapy and recommend it to anyone struggling with similar issues.”
Shilang rates himself 2.5 out of 5 for feeling better. For him, improvement means becoming comfortable with things that once caused discomfort.
Shilang’s journey inspires many who hesitate to start their healing journey. We at YourDOST are confident that Shilang is on the path to a brighter future, and we wish him all the best in his endeavours!
Shilang’s Warrior Tips:
1.“It’s easy to be hard on ourselves and get stuck in life, but it’s important to accept what happens and move forward with kindness.”
2.“Remember, we’re all human, and life doesn’t come with warning signs. Let things happen as they come, accept them, and be proud of yourself for how you handle and move past them.”
3.“If you feel like crying, there’s nothing wrong with that. Allow yourself to experience your emotions fully.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
