Manoj (name) is a 22-year-old student pursuing an M.A. in Physical Chemistry at IISER Tirupathi. He belongs to Calicut, Kerala and belongs to a humble family.
His dad used to be a central government, and his mom is a teacher at a higher secondary school, and expressed that his parents always prioritised education and its importance, that it almost felt like second nature to him to be studious and achieve good grades.
He expressed that he has a good relationship with his family and that his hobbies include reading anything less than 100 pages.
“Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.” — Zelda Fitzgerald
It is interesting to know how love knocks our door at multiple phases of our lives. As conscious adults, we pick the ones that suit us. In any relationship, the first few months feel like you are on cloud nine, and what matters the most is how you choose to spend the rest of your life with this person. The efforts, acceptance, tolerance, compassion and empathy you are willing to put into the relationship, now that is where love blossoms.
Manoj found a partner for himself and just like all of us he dreamt of a future with her.
“I was deeply in love with her and things went smoothly. This was almost a relationship for 4 years and that is how much of an effort we put into it.”
Manoj expressed that the relationship did not last as there were instances of infidelity that he started noticing which he confronted her with and this caused the relationship to break.
The strains of heartbreak clenched his spirit, and he had to deal with college, home and his mental health. It all took a toss and he realised this was when he needed to come to seek therapy.
He heard about YourDOST through his college and decided to book his first session. Ms. Biswas was his counselor and he began to actively take control of his life and was consistent with his therapy sessions which is a very crucial aspect towards betterment.
“I am a person who usually does not spend time sharing or speaking about my problems. I keep it within myself. Speaking to my counselor made me feel calm and comfortable.”
He mentioned that his vulnerabilities found resonance within the kindness of his counselors warm embrace.
“I am glad I had somebody to vent out everything I felt. This saved me through those difficult times.”
Manoj articulated that the break-up also happened along with an important work project which also distracted his focus and put him through severe stress. He explained that he and his counselor had almost 15+ sessions and that it was a great experience.
As a part of his counseling sessions, he was suggested with therapeutic breathing techniques and journaling activities which acted like a soothing balm on a wound.
Manoj also expressed that his healing journey bore fruit, his mood has bettered and he owes it all to his therapist, Ms Biswas. We are equally proud of his journey and wish him all the very best with everything he does. Manoj rated himself with a 3 post his therapy sessions in terms of feeling better.
While being in love teaches us life values, what matters at the end of the day is to keep asking yourself if this is worth it, and if is it helping you become a better person. Remember, relationships can make and break you, as individuals doing something for others and doing something for you is demarcated by a thin line. So remember to wear your boundaries like a crown on your head. We are all secretly hopeless romantics, but they look good in poetry and books but reality matters and we must stay attached to it for peace to manifest.
Manoj’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Don’t wait until problems become enormous – seek help even for slight discomforts. Going to therapy should be as common as seeing a doctor for physical issues.”
2.“Let go of stigma around therapy. It is a logical choice for mental health, just like medicine for physical health. Seeking help is courageous.”
