Identifying The Difference Between Black and White: Raj’s Journey of Self-help with Therapy

6 minutes

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts.”-Nikki Giovanni.

Everyone makes mistakes in their lives which they may or may not regret later on. Making a mistake does not matter, repenting it and making sure to not repeat it is what matters. Be a Chandler in the world of Ross’s, who understands his mistakes and does everything in his power to make them right, rather than ignoring their mistakes and shouting “We were on a break” every time the discussion comes up.

Meet Raj, a 30-year-old official in the maintenance department of Vedanta, with a story of self-improvement that is extremely motivational and inspiring.

Hailing from a small town in Rajasthan, he journeyed through three different cities for his education due to his father’s work. Subsequently, he secured a job in a different city, and recently, received a transfer to yet another city characterized by diverse cultures and mindsets.

“As you may have already guessed, I love travelling and meeting new people wherever I go. I visit new places every chance I get. Yet there are some weak habits of mine that not even my close family members know.”

Raj learned about the YourDOST platform from his company as they have collaborated with the organisation as their official mental health partner. He was pulled towards therapy when he watched the founder of YourDOST, Ms Richa Singh, conduct seminars at their workplace and became inclined to try out therapy himself.

“I used to watch YouTube videos to seek help and felt like a failure when I thought that my condition couldn’t be changed. I didn’t have any hope for therapy to work and changed almost 5-6 therapists as I was exploring therapy and not focusing on self-improvement.”

Raj gradually came to know that he was completely mistaken about the process of therapy. His therapists helped him understand the root cause of problems and instead of handing out solutions, focused on helping him find the way out himself. Raj recalls this revelation as above his expectations and feels glad for opting for counselling with YourDOST.

“I used to indulge in some activities that I knew were fundamentally wrong, but they gave me a sense of immense satisfaction. However, after some time I felt guilty about my doings but it gradually faded with time, which made it a repetitive cycle.”

Initially, Raj was scared to explain this to his therapist, but they found a way to create a comfort zone for him where he felt safe and secure to discuss anything. 

“I knew something from the start if my family came to know of my wrongdoings, it would affect my life to the extent that even I can’t manage. I did not think through the consequences of my actions then, but I knew it was wrong.”

Sometimes when we error in our lives, it’s human nature to bury them under different things to take the limelight off and distract ourselves from it. However, as the saying goes, “hiding a lie under 100 different lies,” it’s always better to just own up to your mistakes and be the bigger person.

“I feared committing infidelity towards my family while I was making mistakes and thought maybe I wanted to change because of that. However my therapist pointed out that my family doesn’t even know my issues, and I wanted to change for myself.”

This revelation was an eye-opener for Raj as he understood that deep down he wanted to do better and found ways to do that by himself. 

He gradually understood the root cause of his actions as his emotions boiled down to loneliness being the ultimate reason for all. He was successful in identifying his emotions with the help of his therapist and their techniques.

All Raj needed was a subtle push, internally and externally, to step onto the path of self-improvement and stay motivated on this journey. His therapist assigned various techniques and activities for him to do that would help him overcome his concerns. His favourite activity among them was journaling his thoughts and jotting down his feelings daily.

“Journalling was the best activity that I could do. I had never tried it before but this is the least I could do for myself. I started journaling and learned that this activity impacted me the most.”

Today, he feels strong and motivated enough to never go back to his old habits.

“I’m eternally grateful to my therapist for helping me be the person I am today. When I started, I was a mess and didn’t know what to do. She helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel and held my hand through the darkness while I worked hard to climb out.”

Raj is a changed man today, who is hopeful about his future and is confident that he overcame his mistakes in the best way possible. He rates himself a Golden 5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better after his therapy sessions and envisions improvement to be a sense of self-satisfaction. 

Making a mistake is human, but owning up to the mistakes and working to make them right is Godly. Raj has proved himself to be capable of bigger things in life and we at YourDOST are honoured to be a part of his journey. 

Raj’s Warrior Tips:
1.“The first step towards healing is recognising that there is a problem within us and seeking help to overcome it. Our consciences should be clear before beginning anything. .”
2.“Always remember that we are not alone in this world, there are always other people who face the same problem as us.”

Team YourDOST

YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.