Shanthi is a 32-year-old professor teaching at the esteemed institute of IIT Bombay. A spirited soul from Uttar Pradesh, she finds solace in her scholarly pursuits and is proud of the commendable work she has offered to academics and research.
Beyond her academic realm, she nurtures her well-being through hobbies, from cherishing the art of self-care to the refreshing embrace of swimming.
Shanthi’s childhood was a blend of privacy and familial volatility, navigating a conservative and controlling family dynamic fraught with highs and lows. She wanted a break from all the family drama and decided to focus on her goals. Dealing with their expectations exhausted her, and she wanted to do things her way.
“I came across YourDOST while I was a student at IIT Bombay. The institute prioritised mental health and tirelessly worked towards ensuring the well-being of its students.”
Shanthi expresses that she heard about YourDOST, initially grappling with scepticism rooted in past counseling encounters. In the beginning, opening up emotionally seemed scary, as it required taking a risk and being vulnerable. Trust was hard to come by in that space.
She still managed to put her fears aside and decided to book her first session with her counselor. Shanthi explained the plights of being a PhD student as she recalls the hard-hustling days.
“Don’t allow anyone to exploit your vulnerabilities. The rigours of a PhD journey can attract manipulative forces. Safeguard your emotional well-being from becoming a tool in the hands of others, regardless of their stature.”
For somebody to be worshipping research and putting in extreme efforts towards delivering quality work, is not something that comes naturally. We keep seeing the number of people who discontinue their PhD due to stress. In Shanthi’s case, she was somebody who challenged norms and always grew up being rebellious and decided to take all that head on!
Shanthi described that the pressure started building off and her guide was somebody who was a manipulative person. This would often put her in an unsettling place and make her feel that she was not worthy enough.
“I was afraid of going back home as they would ridicule me for my incompetency and did not want to show my failure.”
This is when she decided to seek counseling, as she was unable to bear the weight of unspoken burdens and a heart-wrenching breakup. Drowning in emotional silence for months, she sought refuge in the counseling space.
“I met with Ms. Rineeta Banerjee, she was my counselor. Speaking to her helped me navigate through my emotions. She would listen to me with patience and empathy and this made me feel extremely good.”
Shanthi articulates that counseling served as a beacon of hope, igniting the path to self-realization and resilience amidst the trials of her PhD journey.
She talked about how she still has feelings for her ex, even though they broke up a while ago. The relationship went bad because of long distance and it still hurts her a lot. Every memory she has of the good times makes her feel like she messed up, and she wishes she could move on and feel better.
“I was not able to find peace anywhere, I suffered a break, I did not cry for 6-7 months. The process was tough and it still is.”
Break-up with a partner we’ve shared our safe place with can topple our whole world and this was the exact space Shanthi was in and it was not a good space for her.
“Ms. Rineeta heard me through everything without any judgements and pushed me towards working on myself. I started journaling, coming to terms with the intricacies of my heart. I remember how she asked me to make a list of things I want in a partner and I followed her suggestions to the T.”
Shanthi’s break-up shattered her completely as she was consumed with guilt for ending the relationship and not being with the patient.
“I am not able to move on from my ex, and no matter how much effort I put into the moving-on process it is extremely difficult. The relationship was for 6 years. I made the mistake of cheating on him as I suffered from loneliness. Things did not work out well between us and I will always regret what happened.”
While fighting guilt is a challenge we all deal with, Shanthi’s story was no different, she continuously blamed herself for what happened and her counselor guided her with a way to stop doing that. She slowly made her realise that it is okay for such things to happen and time will slowly heal us from things that bother us. Self-victimization is not the solution, self-introspection is.
As Shanthi began on this introspective journey, it resulted in a profound shift, fostering newfound clarity, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to self-love and care.
Shanthi finally came out of the dark pit of heartache. She now understands her decisions better and is more committed to taking care of herself.
After going to counseling it did wonders for her. She got a chance to reflect on her thoughts, emotions, and actions and that helped her become a better version of herself. Shanthi’s experience shows how counseling can help you grow and heal emotionally.
In terms of feeling better Shanthi rated herself with a 3.5/5 post her therapy sessions and we are super proud of her progress and wish her happiness and health!
Shanthi’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Your vulnerability should not become a weapon for others to use you”
