Shanthi (name changed) is a 32-year-old professor teaching at the esteemed institute of IIT Bombay. A spirited soul from Uttar Pradesh, she finds solace in her scholarly pursuits and is proud of the commendable work she has offered to academics and research.
Beyond her academic realm, she nurtures her well-being through hobbies, from cherishing the art of self-care to the refreshing embrace of swimming.
Shanthi’s childhood was a blend of privacy and familial volatility. She navigated a conservative and controlling family dynamic fraught with highs and lows. She wanted a break from all the family drama and decided to focus on her goals. Dealing with their expectations exhausted her, and she wanted to do things her way.
“I came across YourDOST while I was a student at IIT Bombay. The institute prioritised mental health and tirelessly worked towards ensuring the well-being of its students.”
Shanthi expresses that she heard about YourDOST and initially grappled with scepticism rooted in past counseling encounters. Opening up emotionally seemed scary in the beginning, as it required taking a risk and being vulnerable. Trust was hard to come by in that space.
She still managed to put her fears aside and decided to book her first session with her counselor. Shanthi explained the plights of being a PhD student as she recalls the hard-hustling days.
“Don’t allow anyone to exploit your vulnerabilities. The rigours of a PhD journey can attract manipulative forces. Safeguard your emotional well-being from becoming a tool in the hands of others, regardless of their stature.”
It is not natural for somebody to worship research and put in an extreme effort to deliver quality work. We keep seeing the number of people discontinuing their PhD due to stress. In Shanthi’s case, she challenged norms, grew up rebellious, and decided to take all that head-on!
Shanthi described how the pressure started building, and her guide was manipulative. This would often put her in an unsettling place and make her feel she was not worthy enough.
“I was afraid of going back home as they would ridicule me for my incompetency and did not want to show my failure.”
This is when she decided to seek counseling, as she was unable to bear the weight of unspoken burdens and a heart-wrenching breakup. Drowning in emotional silence for months, she sought refuge in the counseling space.
“I met with Ms Rineeta Banerjee, my counsellor. Speaking to her helped me navigate my emotions. She would listen to me with patience and empathy, making me feel extremely good.”
Shanthi articulates that counseling served as a beacon of hope, igniting the path to self-realization and resilience amidst the trials of her PhD journey.
She talked about how she still has feelings for her ex, even though they broke up a while ago. The relationship went bad because of the long distance, which still hurts her greatly. Every memory she has of the good times makes her feel like she messed up, and she wishes she could move on and feel better.
“I was not able to find peace anywhere, I suffered a break, I did not cry for 6-7 months. The process was tough and it still is.”
Break-up with a partner we’ve shared our safe place with can topple our whole world, and this was the exact space Shanthi was in, and it was not a good space for her.
“Ms. Rineeta heard me through everything without judgments and pushed me to work on myself. I started journaling, coming to terms with the intricacies of my heart. I remember she asked me to list things I want in a partner, and I followed her suggestions to the T.”
Shanthi’s break-up shattered her completely as she was consumed with guilt for ending the relationship and not being with the patient.
“I am not able to move on from my ex, and no matter how much effort I put into the moving-on process it is extremely difficult. The relationship was for 6 years. I made the mistake of cheating on him as I suffered from loneliness. Things did not work out well between us and I will always regret what happened.”
While fighting guilt is a challenge we all deal with, Shanthi’s story was no different. She continuously blamed herself for what happened, and her counselor guided her through a way to stop doing that. She slowly made her realise that it is okay for such things to happen, and time will slowly heal us from things that bother us. Self-victimization is not the solution; it is self-introspection.
Shanthi began on this introspective journey, resulting in a profound shift, fostering newfound clarity, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to self-love and care.
Shanthi finally emerged from the dark pit of heartache. She now understands her decisions better and is more committed to caring for herself.
After going to counseling it did wonders for her. She got to reflect on her thoughts, emotions, and actions, which helped her become a better version of herself. Shanthi’s experience shows how counseling can help you grow and heal emotionally.
After her therapy sessions, Shanthi rated herself 3.5/5 in terms of feeling better. We are super proud of her progress and wish her happiness and health!
Shanthi’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Your vulnerability should not become a weapon for others to use you”
