“Marriages are made in heaven”.
So does heaven also create guidelines for the life that comes after?
In 2023, a staggering 3.5 million individuals in India expressed their desire to get married. The wedding season last year was at its grandest and most luxurious. It’s no surprise that Netflix created an entire reality show on Indian marriages and matchmaking.
But why doesn’t anyone talk about how to navigate married life once the wedding bells stop ringing?
This question got us thinking, and we set about looking for answers.
YourDOST interviewed 10 married couples working in high-paying, corporate jobs to understand what they do to keep the spark alive.
In this blog, we shed light on one key aspect of our findings – How do couples navigate love and togetherness, between the demands of work life. Read on to find out!
What is love?
“Love is not always about being good at expressing. Love is what we give, it is everything we do together”, said one of our thriving couples.
Being in love is so much more than grand gestures and romantic getaways. It involves finding things to do that bring partners together. Today, we live in a time of constant hustling to establish successful careers. The 9 to 5 grind, while fulfilling, can sometimes act as an obstacle to showing our loved ones that we care. So it becomes vital to create those special moments where one communicates via small gestures, physical affection, or simply by being present.
“Love is not about looking into each other’s eyes, but looking at a common goal”, shares a couple. Having the same long-term goal as your partner creates a stronger bond with each shared accomplishment. They believe true love flourishes not only on dinner dates but also in everyday triumphs and challenges.
“Friendship is love and she is my best friend,” remarked a husband in the tenderest tone.
It is hard to sustain love without friendship. Being friends with each other might mean friendly banter, being your partner’s cheerleader, and always being present by your partner’s side. Friendship empowers love to become a fuller more thoughtful version of itself.
Reel Vs Reality
For decades, Bollywood has showcased love as an all-consuming emotion. But running-behind-a-train-kind of love carries very little truth in it. When you are married with a thriving career to cater to, it is challenging to convert romance into ever-lasting affection.
“A lot of small things he does work wonders for me. He checks up on me even when we are fighting” reflects the wife. Compliments, acknowledgment, and physical affection that may seem small are instrumental in nourishing a relationship.
“Every time he does something from his heart, he makes me feel loved” declares a wife. Although both are flourishing at work, they make sure to send little gifts of appreciation and celebrate special occasions. When the effort feels effortless that’s when the bond seems to grow fonder, less burdened by expectations.
One need not display over-the-top, undying love like SRK in DDLJ. Small, subtle gestures like buying flowers, cooking dinner, or simply saying “I love you” can go a long way. 80% of the couples we spoke to agree that going on walks together, watching movies, and eating together helps keep the spark alive in the relationship.
Change is not always a bad thing
Marriage changes people. Most often into becoming a better version of themselves. 40% of the couples in our cohort, told us that marriage transformed them into becoming more responsible, and understanding.
A husband observes with affection towards his wife – “Ever since we got married my impulsivity has gone down. In fact, I became more patient and mature as time passed”. Change might also manifest in various other ways. From signing up for fitness classes or planning special occasions, it comes in all forms and sizes.
The secret recipe to a happy marriage lies in recipes!
When both partners are working and navigating corporate, it can be tricky to find the time to eat food together. However, making this time lays the foundation of effort and connectedness. When couples form the routine of cooking and eating together, they pave the way for a long-lasting relationship.
Research led by the Marriage Foundation shows that 67% of the couples who ate together every day said that they were happier than the 58% who didn’t. Food brings people together. It enhances love in all its glory, especially in marriages. While cooking for someone has always been the epitome of showing affection, eating together more often than not is a sign of a healthy relationship.
After 27 years together, a wife shares- “The only way to win over my heart is by praising my cooking and he always does that”. All the couples we spoke with at YourDost, admit that eating together and cooking for each other helps fuel their love.
Conclusion
“Oh, we relate most to Chandler and Monica, definitely”, shared one of our couples.
Like Chandler and Monica, many of the couples we spoke to emphasized the importance of friendship, humor, and unwavering support in their relationships.
These interviews helped us discover a simple, yet profound truth – love, at its core, is about companionship. It’s about finding someone who understands your quirks, shares your laughter, and stands by your side.
Here’s to discovering healthy marriages that, bring meaning and joy to our lives!
