T.W. Mentions of self-harm, domestic violence, and sexual abuse incidents.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
While all of us have warriors we have looked up to some of us also have had to live life taming a warrior in ourselves.
Shivangi is an ambitious 24-year-old from Gorakhpur, who is pursuing her Master’s from IIIT Delhi and is moving into a PhD with the same specialisation.
Shivangi had endured immense hardship, yet emerged with a fiery spirit. In Gorakhpur, her childhood was marked by damaging awakenings, shouting and crashes shattering the morning silence.
“I often felt dejected and insecure growing up in the darkening shadows of my family turmoil. This phase of my life was scary and I felt alone almost every day.”
However, the warrior in her never stopped. She started finding solace in singing and made it her purpose in life to heal her loved ones.
As the eldest child, Shivangi bore the weight of responsibility on her small shoulders. She confided in no one, fearing judgment for her family’s dysfunction.
It is often noticed that some of us grow up forcibly without having the privilege of experiencing the beauty of childhood and this was the case with Shivangi as well.
“I remember this traumatic childhood incident that left an indelible mark; when my friends visited to check on my well-being, there was a parental dispute, and my friends were shocked to see it and never came back to visit me again. This left a huge mark on me and for a long time I was worried about if I would ever have friends, and even if I do will they be people who actually stay.”
Sometimes all of us go through our ways of dealing with family issues. It is commonly noted that some get through with the pressure while the rest break. It was different in Shivangi’s case.
In adolescence, Shivangi’s pain manifested in self-harm and disordered eating.
Craving maternal affection, she pursued it in a partner at 16, only to be met with toxicity. The relationship provided an escape but never filled the void left by her family.
Shivangi clung desperately to any source of love, leading to an abusive partner who manipulated and gaslit her.
“I endured physical and sexual abuse – it was terrifying,” she recalled.
Isolated and threatened, she wanted to end her life and this kept tempting her. But visions of her stoic father steeled her resolve.
Funnelling everything into her health and academics, Shivangi blossomed even as her ex continued his harassment. After an emotional breakdown, she left her job to focus on exams. Despite ongoing PTSD and anxiety, she found purpose in advocating for mental health, making kindness her creed.
“I am grateful to my college for extending YourDOST’s services. I had the opportunity to take up counseling and I am glad I did that.”
She booked her sessions on the platform and also contacted several experts like Ayushi Dixit, Titli Mukherjee and Khushpinder. She mentioned that she was trying to find the right expert, and Ms. Titli Mukherjee turned out to be her perfect therapist.
“Titli helped me through my childhood trauma, my anxieties, trust issues, and worries.”
Shivangi articulated that with compassionate therapy from her counselor, Shivangi processed childhood trauma and regained trust. She prioritised her career and self-care over toxic obligations.
Ms. Titli suggested techniques like journaling and breathing. Additionally, she also mentioned Meditation and Yoga to calm her down and help with her anxiety.
She explained that she used to work out a lot, and taking regular breaks also assisted her with anxiety and helped her connect with herself better.
I am going exactly where I want to be, she affirmed. Equipped with writing, meditation, exercise and community, Shivangi grew stronger, determined to let her painful past fuel a bright future.
“I am at the exact space I wanted to go to, and prioritising my career over everything feels good and different. It is the change I wanted, and I am glad I did take this route.”
Now pursuing a PhD at IIIT Delhi, this Gorakhpur girl has become a phoenix, rising powerfully from the ashes. Though the flight remains turbulent at times, Shivangi navigates with hard-won wisdom. Her fiery wings expand as she soars toward her purpose.
Shivangi’s light shines bright, fueled by the darkness she has conquered. Her story illuminates the incredible resilience of the human spirit. She stands as a beacon of hope for all those still struggling through their storms.
Shivangi’s Warrior Tips:
1.”Therapy helps you manage yourself better with your everyday life, it helps you understand where you spend your energy the most.”
2.”Reaching out for help is the hardest once you get there, things begin to start making sense.”
