Our efforts define how we carry out a particular task and put immense effort to make it to perfection. Imperfection was absolute perfection for Daanish.
Daanish Naithani, a West Delhi boy, a lawyer by profession currently working in a firm, graduated from National Law University Dwarka, New Delhi. His hobby is running long distances, running was spiritual for him. Enjoys reading non-fiction.
For further studies, he moved to Mumbai. Having been exposed to two very different cultures helped in his shaping. Daanish is curious about knowing things, and someone who likes to raise questions. An Iranian origin name which best suits him, as he took the personality that his name signifies.
In his formative years, he was exposed to a very liberal space to enjoy and do what he wishes to do. There were no barriers or cages to capture him. Being a law student he was drawn towards Civil Services and started the preparation.
The civil services examination tests you mentally, emotionally and spiritually. In the final years of his college, he chose to prepare for Civil Services and returned to Delhi.
“It was difficult for me, the preparation as a civil services aspirant and the new normal when the pandemic followed was just too much.”
Daanish shared how he couldn’t clear the exam in 2019. He has always been studious and excellent in academics. He struggled with perfectionism, the idea of doing everything perfectly, to be perfect at every work that he puts his hand into.
During his final years of college, the dissertation needed to be submitted, which is a huge document and he was unable to do it, though his peers joked about him finishing it the earliest because of his timeliness.
He felt a sense of low self-esteem because of spending his crucial years preparing for the civil services examination which resulted in him being out of work for roughly 2-3 years.
The by-product of the preparation for the exam and perfectionism resulted in peak procrastination. It was becoming difficult for him to carry out even the smallest of tasks.
Small achievements didn’t matter much to him and were not moments to celebrate as his goals were to achieve meaningful and worthy milestones. This resulted negatively on Daanish and couldn’t enjoy every moment of his life, it was just not the same for him.
Self-doubt was recurring. He realised that he needed help and he sought it to improve his working conditions and perspective towards the world.
“I was feeling overwhelmed that I would not be able to do the small tasks also.”
His sheer motivation to help himself out of this never-ending cycle brought him to YourDOST. He took that one step towards betterment, approached the platform and started counseling sessions with YourDOST. Ever since then, he has felt happy towards the journey to recovery.
“I know that I’m falling into this vicious cycle of procrastination and the bottom stops only when I stop digging and start to take measures about it.”
Ms. Krishna Sathyan was his therapist who helped him in battling perfection. He had communicated all his problems to her.
After months of therapy, he began to be more calm and composed. He learnt to become more humble to himself as well as others because he always saw himself with a negative perspective that impacted him negatively.
Krishna taught him to be generous to himself and others. She suggested being compassionate and seeing the world more positively. She also reminded him to take breaks and take up only those tasks which were to be prioritised.
His priority list varied from him being at the top to other important stuff. Socialising with people and being expressive about his feelings helped him.
Some of the techniques that she advised were to maintain journals to express more about his emotions, continue to pursue his hobbies and start running as he used to do every day.
Daanish mentions noticing changes and could finally observe the positive transition in him. He could manage his expectation of what to expect of others better. He was on his path to recovery and things were going well for him.
“I have been carefree towards life right now because I’m trying not to be perfect.”
He rates himself a solid 4 out of 5 in terms of improvement and is still in the process of becoming a better version of himself and embracing the imperfection inside him.
Daanish’s Warrior Tips:
1.“It’s always that one push of realisation of help makes all the difference.”
2.“The realisation of needing help and instead of fighting it silently voicing out might help you.”
3.“We are not alone, we’re all in this together into the battle of mental health issues.”
