People say, some things break your heart but fix your vision. Hailing from the land of the Taj Mahal, 25 years old Chandranshu, realised this after a tough experience. A Business Development Associate at BYJU’S, Chandranshu, enjoys reading books, going on treks and swimming.
“We don’t understand many things as children so I’ll say my childhood was alright. I’m quite close to my parents and have a younger brother too who is specially abled.”
Chandranshu shares a great bond with his younger brother and is quite protective of him. He always made sure that he doesn’t treat his brother any differently. Growing up in a family like this made him quite open-minded and sensitive. Soon after high school, Chandranshu moves to a new city to complete his graduation.
“College was great. I fell for a girl. I used to be with her for almost the entire day. I had no idea four years had passed and issues began to surface after we graduated from college and began working in different cities.”
Although relationships are worth fighting for, you cannot do it alone. Chandranshu was so scared of losing the love of his life that he found it difficult to set boundaries in the relationship. He pretended to be okay in a lot of scenarios where he clearly wasn’t.
“I didn’t stop her from doing anything. Even if that meant getting my feelings hurt. Once she spent quite some days at a colleague’s place and stopped responding to my calls or text. I won’t say I was insecure about the guy but I was disheartened.”
Chandranshu understood that even if a relationship is based on mutual efforts, this one had only him. He believes that his ex-girlfriend had this notion that she could do whatever she wants but Chandranshu will not walk away and he did not.
“We dated for almost 6 years but I couldn’t take it anymore. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. That’s when she broke up with me.”
Staying in a toxic relationship is hard but walking away from a 6-year-old attachment is harder. He didn’t know how to react to the situation and couldn’t fathom what had just happened because it all transpired so quickly.
“I was numb. I thought to myself that I had just gotten out of a 6-year-long relationship, I should be sad, I should be crying but I didn’t feel a single emotion. I knew I couldn’t live like this”
That’s when he decided to talk about it and counselling was the best option. BYJU’s association with YourDOST as the official partner for mental wellness helped him find the perfect therapist for him – Mr Kailash. The moment he met him, he knew that this was it. He was empathetic and validated Chandranshu’s feelings. When asked about his first impression of his counsellor, Chandranshu jokingly said,
“Mr. Kailash is a great guy. I fell in love with him. So glad he wasn’t a girl.”
Chandranshu’s therapy sessions got off to a great start, and he continued to work through the techniques and exercises his therapist recommended, making sure he didn’t miss a single one of them.
“I finally started feeling okay with the breakup. I felt and accepted things. I have a habit of overeating whenever I’m stressed and I feel I’m getting in control over it too.”
Chandranshu’s family was very supportive throughout his struggles and was glad he healed himself from the breakup. Expressing his gratitude to his counsellor, Chandranshu said,
“Dear Kailash, Thanks for being there. I am not sure if you noticed but you’ve been a live saver for me”
Today, Chandranshu believes that the best way to progress is to be self-reliant and that the finest part of therapy is that we get to talk about our feelings. Even though he feels the session hours are limited.
He rates himself a 2.5 out of 5 in terms of getting better and is confident that he’ll be a 5 soon! The toughest part of letting go is realising that the other person has already done so. But our warrior not only moved on but also made sure that he healed himself, which is a mark of a true warrior.
Chandranshu’s Warrior Tips:
1. Learn to let it go if a person did something wrong to you instead of being angry at them.
2. You can talk to someone about your problems and it’ll make you feel better but talking to a therapist will heal you.
3. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.
4. Love is unconditional. Relationships are not.