Close-knit families are distinctive in their ways. The characteristics of joint families and living togetherness is a commonly noted aspect found in most of the towns in our country.
Vignesh (name changed) comes from an equivalent family from the sixth-largest municipal district in the Indian state of Tamilnadu. His family comes from a conventional backdrop and believes in religion and culture.
The town flourishes with its noteworthy, historical sites and the mouthwatering aroma of the Tirunelveli Halwa, a delicacy in all of South India.
He is from Thirunelveli and finished his M.E in Construction Management from Coimbatore and his B.E in Civil Engineering from Chennai.
Vignesh is now working in the IT Sector as a manager. His recreations include bike riding and listening to music. Vignesh mentions his interest towards seeking answers and also being an avid vlogger.
“Like every other engineer in our country, I ended up in a software company. Adjusting to this extravagant lifestyle and culture in Bangalore took a toll on me. I received an email from my HR about YourDOST and its services, and it felt like a calling.”
Adjusting to a new place is not an easy egg to crack it’s a part of transitioning also, and we all have our own pace with it. This was no different for Vignesh, as he had his share of learnings to seek.
“I remember how there was a point where I would lose sleep just by overthinking about how am I going to make it through”
When we communicate with people and tell them about overthinking the common answer we receive is, “You are overthinking too much try taking things lightly.” What’s lost in this conversation is a solution. It is in spaces like these do mental health professionals matter and handle it with expertise.
Vignesh describes how he was under pressure with his thoughts of how he would fit in worried him every day.
I was pushy about my progress at work. I was hoping I would be successful in my relationship at least as I was not satisfied with my work. It was heartbreaking to be in the space I was.”
The connections we build with people help us form our opinions about them and develop our feelings towards them. Vignesh developed feelings for somebody at work. He began overworking and pushing himself just to make sure she notices.
“I started worrying so much about my future with her that I would constantly engage myself in a vicious cycle of thinking. It all stopped for good after I met my counselor Ms. Anjana Varadharajan.”
Vignesh explains how his initial sessions were a little difficult as he would constantly be worried about the kind of judgements she would have on his issue. He explains that with her compassion and patience he eventually felt safe.
Counseling is a practice that helps individuals get closer to their thoughts by revisiting themselves through the different techniques listed by counselors. This experience is more about self-introspection.
“I felt light discussing my difficulties with Ms. Anjana. She was caring and helped me identify the root cause of the problem and spoke to me about how I have to be more open and confident in my opinions.”
Vignesh never opened up his feelings to her, and he started preparing for the future just to impress her. He explains how it felt toxic to him as she only regarded him as a friend, and all this pressure he was applying on himself was unnecessary.
“Anjana made me realise that my mental health was the most important aspect through all of this, and I should always prioritise it before anything else.”
Vignesh elucidates how this statement was an eye-opener and he decided to let go of all these feelings and wait them out for the right time. In the meanwhile, he explains how through the techniques Anjana suggested he was able to stay mindful of which facets to put effort into.
“She suggested grounding techniques and dedicating 10 minutes a day for myself for understanding my needs and wants. I am grateful to her for helping me prioritise myself by bringing me to reality.”
Vignesh feels he is in a better spot now and decided to put away these thoughts that are only causing him harm and become more mindful of how he manages his emotions.
“I am more optimistic and confident now after I stopped spending time on the one-sided love story. I have started looking for better jobs, and that’s progress for me.”
When we asked Vignesh what would he rate himself in terms of getting better on a scale of 1 to 5, he gave himself a 3. His journey with therapy has been unique, and he describes how he is always grateful to his counselor and YourDOST.
Vignesh’s Warrior Tips:
1.If you have an issue, always remember to communicate it to your trusted circle. They will surely guide you well.
2.Speaking about your challenges helps you build confidence in yourself and stay optimistic. This worked for me, and I hope it works for you too.
