Nithya, a 34-year Project Manager from Salem, Tamil Nadu, is a perfect blend of career and musical interests. She’s been working in the technology field for the last 14 years. Growing up, she listened to both Carnatic and Hindustani classical music. One other interesting fact about Nithya is that she can sing too!
As a career-oriented person, Nithya has also been abroad for work after working in Bangalore for 8 years. It was during this time that she noticed a side to hers that she never saw coming. She was outside India during the pandemic and her family had come to visit her.
“We had our return tickets but then the lockdown in India got extended. Since I’d already resigned from my job back then, living in a foreign land without a work visa became challenging.”
As there was no date for the commercial flights to resume, Nithya was surrounded by constant uncertainty. For the next 3 months, she had nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks.
“I felt I was going to die. My sleep wasn’t regular.”
After 3 months when Nithya came back to India, she made a strong decision for herself. Instead of looking for a new job opportunity, she decided to unwind. After a year’s break, Nithya joined another job but to her surprise, she found herself in another emotional whirlwind.
“The manager I got turned out to be toxic. I couldn’t deal with that.”
It was around this time that Nithya decided to do something about her issues. While she’d already heard about her organization’s emotional wellness partner, YourDOST through her HR, she wasn’t ready to talk.
“I thought I’d healed. I had to move forward from my issues so thought let me not talk about it. But with all the turmoil going around me, out of nowhere, I started chatting with a therapist.”
When Nithya couldn’t feel any impact in chat counseling, she scheduled an audio session with Bhavya. Just after the first call, her perspective toward therapy changed.
“There was a human on the other side who was empathetic, feeling for what I had been through and wasn’t judging me.”
To Nithya, finding someone who could understand her was no less than finding water on a deserted island. She’d been on the receiving side of constant blames from her family for choosing to work abroad. She felt helpless as being stranded was no way for her to be in control.
“My family was only holding me responsible without giving any solutions. I felt constrained but I could open up to my therapist. I could tell her how difficult it was to write to the embassy, and live with 2 elderly people who had no idea about a foreign land.”
Apart from helping Nithya open up about the tough times wasn’t going anywhere whether she accepted or not. she faced during the pandemic, her therapist also helped her identify red flags in her company. As Nithya had already changed many jobs, she wanted to stick to this one but the red flags were not ending.
“People at my company were judging me for quitting my previous jobs. I didn’t care because this is who I am. If I don’t like it, I will move away.”
Nithya’s therapist helped her validate her feelings and not pay attention to what others thought of her. She helped Nithya realize that no one but it was her was living her reality. This validation gave Nithya gain new confidence and acknowledgement that she was not alone.
While Nithya was making progress with Bhavya, there were some concerns that needed to be addressed and one such was focus.
“I wanted to do a lot of things like upscaling myself but I found that I couldn’t focus despite being a fast learner. I couldn’t focus for more than 5 min.”
When Nithya shared this with Bhavya, she was relieved to know that it didn’t matter how slow she was as long as she was trying and making progress. Since then, every time Nithya feels disappointed for not concentrating, she tells herself it’s okay.
“I tell myself that even if I can sit for 1 hour instead of 6 hours, it’s progress.”
Nithya’s relationship with Bhavya only bloomed thereon. Every time she wanted to vent out, she’d simply book a session with her. Her sessions were more of her dumping her thoughts and getting perspective in return.
As part of the tools suggested by Bhavya, Nithya remembers journaling her thoughts down to manage them. To work on the fact that Nithya saw more relationships as transactions, Bhavya also suggested complimenting people to improve her relationships.
It was a such a tiny positive change but started filling Nithya’s improvement bucket. She could finally make a firm decision of leaving her toxic job and not feel guilty about it. Now she also gives more importance to healing.
“Now I have a lot more clarity in life. I’m not in a rush. I need to heal and I can bounce back when the time is right.”
Fast forward to today, Nithya has realized that it’s okay to take a break. She calls her overall better mind ‘Blessed in Tranquility’ and is already a 4.5 on the improvement scale of 1 to 5. For those struggling in silence, Nithya encourages them to see the power of therapy.
“Your friends and family can only listen to you up to a point but a therapist can guide you professionally.”
Nithya’s Warrior Tips:
1. The best part about therapy is no judgment .
2. Therapist doesn’t say that do this or that. They help validate your journey .
3. It’s okay to keep yourself first and heal .