TW: Mention of Suicide
“The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.” – As rightly said by Confucius, one must always question the surroundings and oneself, to get clarity in life and be better than yesterday! This is the story of 21-year-old Akash Biswas, who’s pursuing a degree in Mathematics from the National Institute of Science Education and Research (NISER). Akash always knew he wanted to pursue a career in the field of research or hotel management and when the hotel management plan didn’t pan out, he decided to go in-depth in the field of research.
Just like his unconventional career choice, Akash caters for an unusual hobby of maintaining aquariums and surrounding himself with living beings. The love for pets in Akash did not come overnight, he had always been a people person. From a young age, Akash had been in a joint family and always up to the mark for any task he gets his hands on! During the lockdown, Akash had to move back to his hometown. He started a small business too, to do something productive during that time. Akash’s life was going on in a straight line, until the lockdown.
“I was in a relationship with my high school girlfriend for over four years. Sadly, it didn’t work out after I joined my college and I was a bit directionless post that.”
Having broken up with his former girlfriend, Akash was left all alone. He tried to focus on his academics but that didn’t help much. After a gap of three long years, his ex-girlfriend came back to his life and they tried to give the relationship another chance. One of the major reasons for Akash’s breakup was his anger issues, and unfortunately, when they tried to rekindle their relationship, his girlfriend was not happy to meet the same Akash. This time, Akash knew he needed to let go of her and divert his mind towards something else. He was barely doing well, until one day he learned bad news about one of his peers.
“My senior died by suicide due to the lockdown. That incident made a major impact on me. Soon after that, a lot of my other acquaintances also took their lives. I was alone, and that made me think what if I also do something like that?”
During the lockdown, Akash too was in his home but the sudden news of people surrendering to the lockdown made him sick to the stomach. The constant feeling of ‘what if’ was taking birth in his mind and he knew he needed professional help. Akash was familiar with counseling and therapy and so it was easy for him to reach out to someone and share his problems.
“People were physically fit, but their mental health went for a toss. I could see that.”
Akash wanted to know himself better, he was questioning the negative thoughts coming to his mind, he wanted to get out of the pain of a broken relationship, but above all – he wanted to take care of himself.
Akash was feeling lonely and even thought of getting into a relationship, just to fill that void. It was at this moment when he realized he needed to talk to a counselor at the earliest. “I have a chance now, and I should go for it” – Akash thought to himself and remembered hearing about YourDOST as NISER’s emotional wellness coach. He opened his mobile, selected the 24*7 chat option, and started talking to a counselor.
“I wrote many big essays to the counselor and expressed everything that I wanted to. I felt very good after venting out. This feeling only made me start the next session immediately.”
Akash got connected with YourDOST expert Ms Monalisa Kar and started his counseling sessions. As one of the techniques to get over his ex-girlfriend, Akash was asked to write down “non-negotiable things in the relationship” – and discuss it with Monalisa. Akash found this technique very helpful as now he was able to see what he wants from the relationship and what all he can give to his partner.
The entire process made Akash acknowledge his needs and wants in the relationship, eventually making him more self-aware. Monalisa also suggested that Akash should make new friends and new connections, with people outside business purposes – to make him more self-aware. Monalisa also suggested Akash meditate and exercise to reduce his anger.
“Monalisa asked me to download the Headspace app and I have been a proud subscriber ever since. I do not think much about my ex-girlfriend now, and have been focusing more on myself and my academics.”
Akash had a tendency to complexity things, but after the counseling he now realises how things can be easy yet effective and he thanks Monalisa for instilling this in him. In a fun rapid-fire round with YourDOST, Akash mentions that now he can see the bigger picture of everything and rates himself 3.5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better. For Akash, the best part about the counseling session was having the comfort of his own home and still getting all the guidance he needed! Akash urges everyone to not think twice when it comes to reaching out and seeking help to get better!
Akash’s Warrior Tips:
1. Counselors treat us as their siblings, friends, and confidants. If you talk to the counselor, they will help you with all their might.
2. We can ask for suggestions from a friend, but then they might not be mature enough to understand and guide us. That’s when the counselor comes into the picture.
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