Do you often get angry? Yes, we all do. It is a part of being human but do you often find yourself blaming others for your anger? Well, then you need to get a strong grip over this pesky emotion.
With the current pandemic in action, it can only get easier for your anger to build up and shape into frustration and stress. But here’s the catch – anger is not necessarily bad provided, it is managed well. Research shows that letting it rip with anger actually escalates aggression, which negatively affects your physical health and emotional wellbeing.
So how do you control your anger before it controls you? Here are some quick tips to help you keep your anger at bay.
1. Reframe your thinking
Anger magnifies your inner thoughts, making it easy to feel like things are worse than they really are. Cognitive restructuring can help you identify and replace negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined,” for example, tell yourself “This is upsetting, but it’s not the end of the world, and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.”
2. Pick your words wisely
Avoid words like “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or others. Statements like “This never works” or “You’re always forgetting things” make you feel your anger is justified. “I” statements can be magical here. To avoid criticizing or placing blame which might only increase tension, use “I” statements to describe the problem.
3. Translate expectations into desires
Angry people tend to demand things, whether it’s fairness, appreciation, agreement, or willingness to do things their way. Try to change your demands into requests. And if things don’t go your way, try not to let your disappointment turn into anger. Saying, “I would like” something is healthier than saying, “I demand” or “I must have” something.
4. Take a pause
You often jump to conclusions when you’re angry, and end up saying the first thing that comes into your head. Take a timeout. Go for a brisk walk, indulge in some physical activity, or watch something funny. This will reduce the induced stress and help you with a few moments of quiet time to collect your thoughts and understand what triggered your anger.
5. Relax and learn to let go
It is natural to rethink, reconsider and relive the situation that provoked your anger to a point where you begin to ruminate. At first you may just be irritated, but the more you think and talk about it, the angrier you become. So it is always a good idea to let go and here’s something that might just do the trick.
You can follow these 5 quick and simple tips to keep your temper in control.
Step 1: Move away from the situation/people for a few minutes.
Step 2: Place the palm of one hand on your heart and that of the other hand on your stomach. Take 5-10 deep breaths.
Step 3: Visualize a pleasant scene/memory for some time.
Step 4: Spread your fingers to form a star-like shape and start tracing your fingers.