N Sharma is a 25 year old pursuing her Masters from one of India’s premier IITs.
She starts by telling us a little bit about what her life was like growing up.
I come from a background where people don’t give much importance to education. Studying in their opinion, is a waste of time. All my life, I have lived with people who have always thought less of me.
Her life hasn’t been an easy one. Opportunities weren’t served to her on a silver platter, she has fought hard to get where she is right now – pursuing an M.Tech degree from a prestigious institution.
I was often compared to my siblings and that did take a huge toll on my self-esteem. I used to feel insecure and scared. I did not let life get me down though. I was always good at what I did.
College wasn’t easy for her. Sharma recounts that while pursuing her B.Tech, she was a loner and didn’t talk much. This wasn’t because she didn’t want to, there was just no one who wanted to listen. Her peers weren’t very kind either.
I was an introvert. I didn’t have many friends in college. I used to sit alone in class on the first bench. People were often mean and would try to bully me. This made me very aggressive and I would regularly get into fights.
Sharma was the only student in her college to crack the GATE examination and get into IIT for her Mater’s. This is where she met Dr. Seema Sharma, a Clinical Psychologist with YourDOST, who changed her entire worldview.
My first session was an impromptu one. I went to the college office to get some printouts and this is where I met Seema ma’am. She told me that she was a counselor. Until then, I had no idea that therapy existed or what it was. She was quite patient with me and helped me understand what it entailed. This is when I knew I had to see her for a session.
They were able to get together for their very first session the following day and it was a roller-coaster ride of emotions.
I just remember crying profusely. She said such nice things about me and my personality. I used to think that there was something terribly wrong with me as I had a locomotive disability and was constantly told that I was not good enough.
She helped her come to terms with that and thanks to these sessions, Sharma was able to realise her true potential.
I was finally able to appreciate myself and gained the sort of confidence that I never received from my parents.
Sharma says that she felt much better after talking to Dr. Seema. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She got introduced to her true self and could breathe again.
I constantly tried to derive validation from external sources. After my sessions, I started looking inward instead and started enjoying my own company. I wish I had been introduced to therapy sooner!
She has been home for a while now due to the pandemic and says that her sessions with YourDOST have increased in frequency. She has made it a point to stay in touch with Dr. Seema.
She has an important piece of advice for all of us.
There comes a time when people feel that they are surrounded by darkness. Life is not perfect all the time and we are scared to be lonely. This is why we try to please others and not follow our hearts. We don’t open up because we are afraid that people would judge us or worse, abandon us. And thus, that darkness within us keeps increasing.
She says that It is very important to reach out and seek help during such times. It takes a lot of courage to accept your flaws and this is where therapy helps. It will reveal a world of possibilities for you.
She has also learnt to let go of people and now takes care of her own self.
I try to be good to others and myself, no matter what.
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