Arpit shares his story on fighting divorce blues

4 minutes

I am Arpit Kikani, a 32 years old Engineering graduate from Gujarat, India. I am working in an MNC for the past 11 years. I live with my parents. I share my story with you as I want to inspire people who are going through various difficult phases in life.

I was an outgoing person and loved spending time with my friends. I had always been very energetic, active and jovial. However, a personal setback changed things for me a while ago. It shook me off my roots.

It was when my spouse and I separated due to personal reasons. I do not want to dwell into the nitty-gritty of the relationship or its failure. However, the separation took its toll on my peace of mind and I noticed subtle changes in my behaviour. Our divorce created a void in my life that felt difficult to fill all of a sudden. It was all the more painful because we did try to save it for quite some time but I guess some results are inevitable. The dream of having a perfect family was shattered and I could not get over it for quite a long period.

I went into an acute phase of depression in Feb 2016 post my divorce. I lost my zeal for life and started constantly blaming others for the smallest of issues. My eating pattern became erratic which had physical implications on my body. I stopped attending family functions to avoid unnecessary questions from people. I even stopped meeting my friends. All I did was lock myself in a room and stare at the circulating fan and think of all the quality times I had spent with my wife. I was so heartbroken that I used to question myself why did it happen to me? Where did I go wrong? But all the questions were unanswered. There was no one with whom I could share my pain. I was very lost and disgusted with my life.

This continued for some time until one day my mother came crying to me. She broke down saying she just cannot see my in that condition anymore. She made me promise that I will come back to my normal self. I too realised her condition and made up my mind to move on. But it’s not that easy a task as said.

I knew I love reading. So, in this hard time books were my only companion. I read a lot of inspirational blogs and stories. It did help regain my confidence but I still felt low. I felt like I need someone to listen to my pain and guide me. In the meantime, one day I came across an article in ‘The Week’ about an online emotional wellness platform, YourDOST. I opened their website and took sessions. They were very useful to me. With my counsellor’s help, I took up exercising and meditation, which in turn helped me improve my concentration and gave me peace. It helped me understand what worked for me and that helped me stay fit and motivated.

My counsellor also suggested that I maintain a diary of notes, depending on the various phases or situations – e.g. stress diary, gratitude diary, thoughts and reasoning diary. It helped me pinpoint and resolve my issues. It gave me power and belief that though things are overwhelming, they aren’t really that bad as they seem in our mind. I also took Cognitive Behavior Therapy, in which one counters one’s distorted thoughts. I was also greatly inspired by a movie ‘Peaceful Warrior’. It helped me come back to myself.

So, by the first week of June, I was able to recover from my depression and I started trying to move on. I am now able to not only ‘live’ life again in true terms with the help of YourDOST Team but am also able to relish every moment of this new birth/life granted by them.

Your DOST celebrates the brave spirit of Arpit! Do you have a story inside you of struggle that you overcame with your brave spirit? Share it with us! You never know who can connect with your story and get the courage to keep moving ahead!

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Stay Healthy! Stay Motivated!

Team YourDOST

YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.