3 Simple Hacks To Get Over The Fear of Rejection

3 minutes

Rejections are unpleasant and embarrassing. From when you were a little kid and the older kids wouldn’t let you play with them, to being a spurned lover, rejection leaves scars that we are not likely to quickly to forget. It is man’s nature to engage with other humans, so despite what we are told, we take rejection personally.


There is a research to prove that rejection from people we don’t even like can be as painful as being rejected for something we really wanted.

There is proof that rejection actually makes o feel stupid. It can hamper your IQ. It reduces your ability to reason, while increasing aggression.  

However, what if we told you there are ways to handle rejection without holing yourself up in your room and wallowing in self-pity?

Here are three techniques you could use to handle rejection better:

  • Make a game of it:

This is the essence of Jia Jiang’s book, ‘Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection’ and his TEDx talk.

It’s really quite a simple trick! Imagine that every attempt is a part of a game, and each time you don’t make it, you just start playing all over again. Like, if life were a video game and you lost some time, you just shrug your shoulders and hit the replay button.

In fact, if you could add some humor to the situation, that makes it even better!

As suggested by Rod Martian from University of Western Ontario,

“So whenever we see something as funny; we’re looking at it from a different perspective. When people are trapped in a stressful situation and feeling overwhelmed, they’re stuck in one way of thinking: This is terrible. I’ve got to get out of here. But if you can take a humorous perspective, then by definition you’re looking at it differently — you’re breaking out of that rigid mind-set”.

  • Think About Your Favorite TV show:

TV shows give you that feeling of being in a relationship, this is called the Social Surrogate Hypothesis.

Just thinking about your favorite shows increases your self-esteem that has plummeted when you are rejected.

  • Hug a Teddy Bear:

The third technique is a sort of continuation of the second technique.

Hugging a teddy bear makes you feel better, just like how looking at pictures of your loved ones will make you feel better. The answer ultimately lies in relationships, we tend to feel better when we reach out to loved ones and know that they are there for us.

Read all about this in the research here.

So, there you have it! Three simple, unconventional yet actionable ways of facing rejection!

Do you have any other tips that have proved useful? If you are having a hard time facing rejection, talking to our experts at YourDOST can make you feel better!

Sushma Hebbar

Sushma Hebbar is a Senior Psychologist at YourDOST. She is an experienced career psychologist with a Master's in Clinical Psychology. She has worked with clients of different age groups, dealing with a wide variety of psychosocial & life adjustment problems that people face in their everyday lives. She has an extensive experience of dealing with career confusions, academic issues, relationship issues, exam stress and skill development. She worked as a facilitator and trained children for the development of Higher Order Thinking Skills. During her internship at All India Institute of Speech and Hearing at Mysore, she worked with children having ADHD, Learning disability and even those who were intellectually disbaled and suffered from Down syndrome. Her belief is that every individual is unique and has the right to be happy, which clearly goes on to show her liberal mindset.