Rejections are unpleasant and embarrassing. From when you were a little kid and the older kids wouldn’t let you play with them, to being a spurned lover, rejection leaves scars that we are not likely to quickly to forget. It is man’s nature to engage with other humans, so despite what we are told, we take rejection personally.
There is a research to prove that rejection from people we don’t even like can be as painful as being rejected for something we really wanted.
There is proof that rejection actually makes o feel stupid. It can hamper your IQ. It reduces your ability to reason, while increasing aggression.
However, what if we told you there are ways to handle rejection without holing yourself up in your room and wallowing in self-pity?
Here are three techniques you could use to handle rejection better:
Make a game of it:
This is the essence of Jia Jiang’s book, ‘Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection’ and his TEDx talk.
It’s really quite a simple trick! Imagine that every attempt is a part of a game, and each time you don’t make it, you just start playing all over again. Like, if life were a video game and you lost some time, you just shrug your shoulders and hit the replay button.
In fact, if you could add some humor to the situation, that makes it even better!
As suggested by Rod Martian from University of Western Ontario,
“So whenever we see something as funny; we’re looking at it from a different perspective. When people are trapped in a stressful situation and feeling overwhelmed, they’re stuck in one way of thinking: This is terrible. I’ve got to get out of here. But if you can take a humorous perspective, then by definition you’re looking at it differently — you’re breaking out of that rigid mind-set”.
Think About Your Favorite TV show:
TV shows give you that feeling of being in a relationship, this is called the Social Surrogate Hypothesis.
Just thinking about your favorite shows increases your self-esteem that has plummeted when you are rejected.
Hug a Teddy Bear:
The third technique is a sort of continuation of the second technique.
Hugging a teddy bear makes you feel better, just like how looking at pictures of your loved ones will make you feel better. The answer ultimately lies in relationships, we tend to feel better when we reach out to loved ones and know that they are there for us.
Read all about this in the research here.
So, there you have it! Three simple, unconventional yet actionable ways of facing rejection!