4 Simple Ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence

3 minutes

Do you want to be happier?

Do you wish to overcome fear?

Do you want to love, and be loved?

Do you want to be able to conquer sadness and depression?

Human life is a colorful expanse of many varying emotional experiences. Being happy, sad, angry, afraid, disgusted, to love, to hate, etc. are part of our intrapersonal and interpersonal experiences. 


We normally believe emotions are dependent on events of our lives, not in our direct control. But did you know that we can learn to understand and manage our emotional experiences too?

Cognition and emotion are two strong aspects of the human mind. At one time cognition, rationality, intelligence and an ability to apply knowledge were considered superior. 

Eventually, we discovered that these smart people with high Intelligence Quotient had difficulty in social adjustment and relationships, or internal peace and happiness. The concept of emotional intelligence emerged as an answer.

Emotional Quotient includes self-awareness and self-regulation of one’s emotions. Being angry is acceptable if we can be angry at the right person, to the right amount, at the right time, for the right reasons, etc…

Source: pakwired.com

Functions of emotions –

  • E-motion = emotion: Emotions put energy into motion. Highly passionate people, highly motivated people are emotionally charged.
  • Emotions facilitate survival: They make us act quickly and prepare the body and mind for action. For example, faced with a tiger, the feeling of fear would make you take a quick decision of whether to freeze, fight or flee away!
  • Nurturance, warmth, love, and similar emotions ensure life itself.
  • Feelings of security nurture growth.
  • Feelings of compassion, affiliation, approval foster relationships.

Emotional Quotient includes an individual’s ability to be aware of one’s emotions and regulate them. At the same time, it includes empathy for other people’s emotions. 

Some ways to improve one’s emotional intelligence: –

  1. Self-awareness: There is a minimal difference between being angry, being upset and being aggressive; but they are all different feelings. If one can identify towards whom, to what extent, on what issue is one feeling what; it can increase clarity and improve communication. This clear communication can become a positive loop and enhance one’s personality as well as the relationship.
    Source: 74inchesoflady.com
  2. Express your feelings to the right person, to the right extent, at the right time
    Source: teenage.com.sg
  3. Listen to others attentively: Both the content, as well as the underlying emotion
    listen to others
    Source: buzzfeed.com
  4. Respond to other people’s emotions with acceptance and maturity: Emotions are not right or wrong, the underlying thoughts are the ones that can be reviewed and corrected.
    Source: storiesofworld.com

People with high Emotional Quotient lead an assertive, content and enriching life of love and passion. They can take responsibility, have good problem solving and decision-making ability, and have initiative.

Being an ‘emotionally sensitive’ person does not mean you are weak or an ‘emotional fool’. It simply means you might be an empowered person who is not yet aware if their own tools. Just start being aware of how you feel in different situations, with different people, and understand the same about others; and you will have the immense power of emotions to create your own experiences.

Remember –

“If you can rightly build your emotional intelligence and holistically develop yourself, people can hurt you but you won’t be hurt”

― Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

Shruti Singhal

Shruti is your special friend from Your D.O.S.T team. She is a practicing psychotherapist with 11 years of experience in the field of clinical psychology. She has worked with clients of different age groups, dealing with a wide variety of psycho-social & life adjustment problems that people face in everyday lives. Shruti believes that if we learn the skill to master our emotions, then we would all have that immense mind power to create a successful life of love, joy and purpose. It is her lifelong passion & pursuit to develop and help develop this skill. Through Your DOST, she would like to touch minds and souls to make a positive difference in their lives