Grief: A No Rule Book

2 minutes

“Who is gone is gone! Forget about it and move on.”

Loss is a natural process of life. We are all aware of it but still find it hard to come in terms with the event. Life moves on and so are we expected to. How much ever difficult it is we only hear people say, “who is gone is gone, move on!” But is it so easy? To just snap out of the fact that the one so close to us is no more around. We keep hearing great advises like ‘engage yourself’, ‘go out’, ‘stop thinking about it’, ‘start a fresh’, ‘divert your mind’ but do they really help. What if I say no this does not help.

Grieving is a process and should be given its time.
One cannot push it away and move on. Doing so will only bring it back again and again. What is more important is to deal with the feelings and going through the process of grieving to be truly able to come out of it and to ‘move on’. There is no ‘fixed’ or ‘normal’ time period of grieving. Some take days, some months while the rest take years. Grieving process is different for different people. The kind of relationship one shared with the decreased can influence the grieving process. The phase “time heals everything” is apt when we talk about grieving but yes a good social and family support can do wonders. A social support that does not require you to get back to ‘normal’ but acts as a pillar of support through the tough time.

Every Individual goes through different grief stages starting from denial to acceptance. Although not a linear process people tend to move between the stages. Also it is not necessary that one goes through all the stages. The time taken in a particular stage varies from person to person. But in generally we all go through a process to be able to fully accept the loss. Therefore it is important to experience it rather than pushing it away for resisting will only prolong the process.

Swekriti Bhatnagar

Swekriti Bhatnagar is your special friend from YourDOST team. She is a Masters in Counseling Psychology from Christ University. She is experienced in dealing with adolescent and relationship related issues. She believes in the power of communication and that everyone has the ability to change. Through YourDOST she wants to help people vent out their worries and wishes to make a difference in the lives of people