The Trap Of SELF-PITY – How To Stop Feeling Sorry And Move On

3 minutes
Have you ever had thoughts like “This always happens with me“, “I don’t think I am good enough”, “I will never get what I want”.

We all have negative experiences in life and we tend to ask thewhy me?” question and hold on to them for a long time. Feeling sad about a not so good situation or an event is natural but at the same time it is important that we let go of it to be able to move forward. Sometimes when it is hard for us to let go we switch to our “why me” mood and fall prey to self pity.

The following things can help us come out of this state:
  1. Think positive. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Engaging in things that make us feel good and happy is a way to stay positive and motivated. In case of negative thought, we should not push them back, instead we should change our focus and engage ourselves in other things.
  2. Be grateful. Acknowledge what we have instead of what you don’t have. A glass can be seen as both half empty or half full. A lot changes with the change of perception. We can also keep a gratitude journal and have a daily record in it. This gives you space and time to spend on positive things.
  3. Take responsibility for your actions. Learn from experiences and actions, and accept the negative as we accept the positive. Talking about it all the time and blaming will only enforce the feeling of self pity. Instead take responsibility of what has happened and find ways to make things better.
  4. Be accepting of yourself. Acceptance is one of the most important things. Once we have accepted oneself we are able to deal with the situation better. We are a balance of both good and bad, and the awareness of this balance is essential.
  5. Changing the environment. Environment has a great influence on us and how we feel and behave. Getting to be around positive people will help us stay positive and less complaining. A happy and cheerful environment can also help us change the way you perceive things, in a more positive way.
  6. Change in language. Like environment, the choice of words in our speech can also influence us. Choosing positive, empowering words would give us boost whereas if we use negative and demotivating words and phrases it would have a negative impact on us. We can also bring about a change in language by focusing on the past achievements and happy moments.
  7. Push yourself out of comfort zone. We tend to resort to self pity as that is the easiest way and does not require hard work. Getting a little uncomfortable and stepping out to seek a solution will help us think out of the box.
  8. Focus on building self confidence. The more you feel confident and good about yourself the lesser are the chances of self pitying. Building self confidence is a process and will happen over a period of time. Taking good care of yourself, exercising, being positive can all contribute to building your confidence as well.

Swekriti Bhatnagar

Swekriti Bhatnagar is your special friend from YourDOST team. She is a Masters in Counseling Psychology from Christ University. She is experienced in dealing with adolescent and relationship related issues. She believes in the power of communication and that everyone has the ability to change. Through YourDOST she wants to help people vent out their worries and wishes to make a difference in the lives of people