Is Failing In Love Allowed?

5 minutes

This is my story under anonymity

Love has many shades, many kinds, many vibes and many sides. Their is so much to explore, so much to feel, so much to see so much to be. The idea of love was instilled in my mind from a very early age. The ground breaking love story of Raj and Simran made me believe that love was the only thing worth fighting for, worth crying for and worth dying for.

I was never truly scared of falling for someone and soon after passing school, I found  my ideal man. Every moment spent with him was beautiful – the constant smiles, the gushing blushes, Oh! it was magical. But i guess God had other plans for me. We were at the peak of our career deciding years and he wanted to change paths to concentrate on his career.

I wanted to support him and agreed with his decision. But old habits don”t go easy, do they? I stuck around with a hope to win his love back but he used my vulnerability to his advantage and left me after fulfilling his physical desires.This was the first major blow on my belief on love. My naivety took a huge hit.
It took me a few years to surpass my past experience and it was after joining office, did my hope on love took a turn. Me, a girl full of love had been lonely for the longest time. I guess you could say that i had not truly recovered from my first relationship when I met another charming person in office and was immediately attracted to him.
He liked me a lot and I fell for that feeling. I wanted to be back in love, i wanted to live again. Unfortunately it didn’t last long. After we got physical, he started borrowing money and when asked about returning it, he threatened to reveal our ‘physical relationship’ in public. I later got to know about his involvement with another girl.
It is then that I learned about the prevailing conditions of giving all to the one you love. The necessity of making principles and following them is prerequisite for any relationship.
After this horrible incident, I had hit a rock bottom yet again.No job, no life and of course no love. It is then that i met this person who helped me emotionally and brought me back to life.
He treated me with great respect and was dropping hints of liking me and although I wasn’t in my best phase then, I went with it. We hung out quite often and I started liking him. His personality reminded me of my teenage love. After a real long time I had started feeling like myself again, full of love. Ofcourse, he wasn’t my prince charming and neither was he worth it. He was already hooked with another girl and when I confronted him, he had no answers. I left him to his misery.
My original take on love was gradually slipping out of me. After a series of bad experiences, I was questioning my every move. I felt like a culprit and blamed myself for the horrible decisions I had made. 
I cried a lot while I was alone. I so wanted to speak my heart out but was scared to be judged by people around. I tried to keep myself engaged. I joined every activity that kept me busy – pursued new courses, hobbies, sports. Infact it boosted my career too. I knew one thing I didn’t do anything wrong so I shouldn’t punish myself.

In all this mess, a small ray of hope was still by me, telling me to have faith. 
Only after a person hits their lowest, are they able to bounce back with more determination and hope. I decided to take one more for love and involved myself into online dating. I did meet someone but it didn’t work out for its own reasons.
My life had been no less than a roller coaster life but I don’t regret even a second of it. I’m stronger than ever now. I have learned so much now and I proud of that. 
I made a few mistakes on the way, at least now I’m not afraid of making anymore of them. Time heals everything, it too shall pass is what keeps me going.
I am my own best friend. I love to do things that make me happy like learning new language, learning dance, eating! I celebrate life and yes I am the life of all parties. I’m not looking out for someone who completes me but someone who respects me and whose company I would enjoy.
Love alone cannot fulfill your dreams. To be allowed to make mistakes and to have a say about your choices, you need to be financially independent and morally strong. Always have a strong career and good friend circle which is yours and which no-one can take away from you.
I’m still on a look out for THE ONE , and I will be until I find him because I don’t want to give up on love and neither settle down for a wrong person.


Divya helps YourDOST with Marketing.A student from Christ University, dramatics enthusiast, story-teller and a hard core Hyderabad Lover.She works with YourDOST as she believes if people can only talk it out, they will feel much better. She has herself felt the need for something like YourDOST, so now she is dedicated to increase awareness so that more people can be benefited