“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly”
Yes, that’s the only way to describe Akshay’s* journey.
Akshay, 23, is currently pursuing his MBA at one of the country’s top IIMs. A sensitive & brilliant soul, he thoroughly enjoys reading and writing.
Sometime after joining his business school, Akshay started experiencing insecurity about his future, and felt that his lifestyle was unstable. He would often find himself caught in a vicious cycle of anxiety, anger and insecurity.
I had become insecure about my body and hair. I would feel helpless and insecure in my social circle. I would feel inferior to my friends. I was desperate to feel like I’m a part of the crowd, and the resulting FOMO even alienated me from my favourite hobbies – reading and writing
Coming from a relatively rural background, and having moved to a new city for his MBA, Akshay felt like a misfit in an urban setting.
I was experiencing a complete identity crisis. I was underconfident and felt that I didn’t deserve anything good in my life. My relationship with my partner also became extremely bad
To cope with his tormenting feelings, Akshay would use what he refers to as ‘junk happiness’.
I would watch porn, eat unhealthy and drink alcohol. I count these as junk happiness
They didn’t prove to be of much help either, particularly porn.
I personally didn’t find porn healthy at all. To be very honest, I used to feel guilty about watching it. It started affecting my opinions about sex, the opposite gender and love to a certain extent, and this was unacceptable to me
Ultimately thing got so overwhelming for Akshay that he knew he had to get help.
I was caught in this cycle of thoughts and lifestyle patterns which made me realize that I needed help
He first approached YourDOST in July 2019. He connected with Psychotherapist, Ms. Sudha Ananth. Over the next few weeks, they explored what were the precise issues that needed to be addressed. They were able to boil it down to three issues – Stress, Anxiety, and Obsessive thoughts. Now that the problem had been revealed, it was time to work on resolving it.
Therapy proved to be quite effective for Akshay.
I have been able to resolve many issues, after I understood my problem
Akshay realised that he hadn’t been very honest to himself with respect to his goals and his life, which affected his self-confidence tremendously.
I took baby steps. I started feeling confident in my social circle. I’m able to articulate my thoughts much better. Eventually I cleared my internship interview. It gave me a much needed confidence boost and confirmed that the steps I took were in right direction.
Akshay also started feeling more comfortable with starting conversations with people. He became comfortable in his own skin.
I focused on my body. I started working out more regularly along with good diet and sleep.
He also started writing again and became goal-oriented in his outlook.
I focused on little goals and completed them. It made me confident. A sense of achievement made me realize that we can do whatever we want if we are completely honest about the goal
Remember that identity crisis he was experiencing? He found his own unique way of dealing with it.
I realized family and friends are the most important parts of our lives. I reconnected with them. Just talking with them gave me a much-needed escape from my own self-eccentric thoughts.
After talking with them, Akshay felt more connected with his background and identity.
I never felt much-connected in an urban setup. I realized that I don’t necessarily need to feel connected with urban life.
This is what is called a complete makeover don’t you think? Akshay has one last word of advice for others who might be in need of support.
Be honest with yourself. If you are going through some problem and it is affecting your daily routine, work and general happiness, share it with your family and friends. If you are not comfortable with them, visit a psychologist or counselor. It is much easier nowadays to get help without any judgement
Akshay’s story fills us with motivation to work on ourselves and overcome all our issues for a happier life.
If you too are looking to become a better version of yourself, please know that we’re here for you. Talk to a YourDOST Expert today, for personalized guidance.