I am 24 years old female. I met a guy on social networking site and got quite emotionally attached to him. He had an interesting personality and I enjoyed having a conversation with him. I never tried to make things go more than that because I thought this social media attractions won't go for long. But I genuinely liked talking to him. After a certain time I think he guessed that I do have some sort of likeliness for him and after that his tone changed a little with me.. He was really nice and a became lil romantic towards me, if I can say so. I won't deny that I liked all the attention I was getting. I never initiated a conversation but I swear I responded really well and respectfully whenever he talked to me. Basically I never initiated because I was afraid of getting too attached to someone whom I was not sure would be my future and someone whom I had never met. Secondly, he lives in another country and I could see things getting doomed.
But then despite taking all the precautions I got attached to him enough to loose my sleep and my peace. The thing is that I have been in a nuclear family and my sister is handicapped. My father has always been quite strict with me and has never been interested in my life much except my results and exams. That does not mean I am trying to disrespect him or taking away the struggles he went through to bring me up. It's just that he is not at all the person who would ever demonstrate his love. I share a cordial relation with my mother but then again not a great relationship. I am not saying they were not good parents nor am I judging them for something I might not understand. I am just saying the encouragement, the family atmosphere, the joy of playing and fighting with siblings was missing in my life. Moreover, right now I am also struggling for a job and though not completely but to a certain extent I am cut off with my friends as well..
May be that loneliness and the emotional void was the reason I got so attached to this person whom I met online. He was jovial, he was encouraging, spoke so well and was a very positive human being. I started liking to talk with him. But as I said I never initiated. One reason was also because I didn't want to give him hopes. It could have led to disappointment to both of us. But then he used to text me and as I said I texted him back too. Despite every odd possibility of this relationship at the back of my mind, his slight efforts began to give me some hopes that may be just may be I should give one chance to myself.. May be some miracle would happen and I might have a person in my life whose company I really enjoy. But just as I thought that and started responding to his advances, he stopped texting me.
Now I don't understand what should I do? I really miss him. I have so many questions going at the back of my mind.
Should I text him ? I know this might go nowhere in the long run or may be just give myself a chance ? Somewhere deep down I really want to know why he stopped talking to me or why he drifted apart ? If not anything else I need a closure.
Was he actually taking any interest in me or was he just playing around because he guessed my feelings and when it went to a certain point he took himself back ?
Was he just irked with me never initiating a conversation ever ?
Or Should I just move on as whatever I am thinking or doing is just stupid and the world is filled with even more problems ? But then I do miss him. I really do. The environment around me is not helping me either. In fact, I use to feel happy when I talked to him. But now with him nowhere beside me I feel a void in my life. What should I do now ?
Please help me. I am fed up and emotionally exhausted. I have nothing good going on right now in my life. From love life to social life, from family to friends, from job to health, everything is messed up right now. Please guide me.