Thanks for your reply @brotherRaj86
Yeah I feel that somewhere my mood has started to revolve around his actions, which I also feel is very wrong and I don't really want that. I don't know but sometimes I got strong feelings that he also has some feelings for me but yeah I was never sure. And I tried to keep my feelings as subtle as possible since I never wanted our friendship to end. That's why I never told him about my feelings. But when he asked about the same I couldn't deny him and I told him that I have feelings for him but I always valued our friendship more to which he said that it's fantastic and he's relieved because he thought that somewhere he was responsible for this but I couldn't tell him that I got mixed signals from his side too. So maybe, it's a "No" from his side. And because of this only I thought to stay away from him. But in his text some days back , to my sister he asked that why didn't she come home after lockdown and where is she now. And this made be disturbed again that why does he still care.
So your are suggesting that after saying this thing that I have feelings for him, for one last time I should again convey all my feelings clearly to him and break the contact?
Also what is affecting me more is that he ignored me as a friend which made me bother more, apart from those feelings thing. I asked him to meet me just as a friend so that whatever problem was there we could sort that out. And that's why as a friend also why does he care, why this on and off thing going on before and after I told him about my feelings and accepted that our friendship is more valuable to me?