I am ashamed to say my name . Firstly let me give few details about myself, i am from South India came from a middle class family . My height is 5 '10 dark brown with little curly hair, weight around 90 and i agree i don't look great due to this reason my confidence is really low, i am very shy to talk to girls specially the one who looks good. It all started when i was in my 2nd year of graduation final exams. One of my classmate who looks cute and innocent she approached me and asked me about the exam and we had little conversation regarding that . Next day we exchanged our email id's and we used chat,we became close very soon which made me to propose her and she accepted me. Then she told me not talk to her in college we will talk only through chats and on calls, i asked the reason then she replied saying i already had bad reputation in our college so i don't want to repeat that ( she had been caught running away from our college with one of my classmate in first year) due to that reason i said okay . She had one male lets call him Mr. A in our class he used to call her as sister and he used to help her in everything, like whenever she wants to talk to me in college she called him and told him about what she wanted to talk to me about, then he used to come to me and tell me about those things.Few months went by, then we got 60 days semester holidays.During holidays we didn't talk even a single word .suddenly i got a message from her, she asked me to come online then i went online and she asked me how are you like all those things.
She: Do you think our relationship is love?
Me: Yes, why are you asking that is something wrong
She: I think this is not love this is just attraction, i had a doubt on this relationship so i didn't talk for all these days, its better we breakup and be friends.
I was shocked she said that after 23 months,so i requested her a lot and said don't leave me but she didn't listen to me and we broke up with each other . I'm completely into depression.All my friends keep telling me from the day one of our relationship they used to warn 'man she is not your kind of girl, please don't take seriously' but i didn't listen to any of their words. Before me she had relationship with 3 more and dumped them but she had done many things with them. All those stories i know but the only thing is i used to believe she might have changed now she is being nice to me, its ok nothing will go wrong. But after the breakup i became very irregular to college so due to that my attendance and my grades came low and slowly i used to lie about my studies to my parents and took money to pay my condonation fee . I used to be in my friends room or sit in some of the place which we went both together, i was like dead man that resulted into backlogs . These situations continued up to 3rd year 2 semester, then i requested her brother(Mr A) please make her talk with me just as a friend, i'll not ask or force her to love me again he convinced her and she agreed to talk and i was in clouds, i am happy she is accepted to talk to me then i used to talk very little, whenever i try to be bit closer she used to cut me and go offline. Finally in my last year 2 semester project time came so my professor divided all of us into groups "GOD IS SO CRUEL" she was in my group, all friends are like your so lucky you and your girlfriend are in the same group, I enjoy hearing those words, i felt what should i do now am i supposed to be happy or sad. I used to help her a lot she used to talk to me very nice and i am very happy i thought we will patch up again project got over and my final exams are also over and she was gone that's it like our relation is done.
Its been 7 years now that we both broke up with each other, 4 year back she got married and moved to abroad after 16 months of her marriage she called me and i talked normally all basic things, i asked about her husband and about her married life . The next day also she called and she spoke for one hour and meanwhile she asked me will you marry me if get divorced with my husband, i don't want to live with him he has all bad habits and i was literally shocked and asked what are you talking this not right how can i marry, go and talk to your parents solve your issue don't take any foolish steps and she said yes and next day onwards she never called me. One of my friend created one whatsapp group soon after completion of our college and few months back she was also added to the group after two days two of her best friends (girls) are also been added so after 3 or 4 days she said hi in personal chat and i also said hi we talked for few days and one fine day i got a doubt whether she really loved me or not because she not at all treating me her friend or classmate or ex-boyfriend she used talk to me like as if i'm a stranger to her so i asked one of her best friend about our relationship in the college and i was shocked by the answer
Me: Hi i want to ask you something
Friend: Yeah tell me
Me: Did your friend really love me in college or she is not so serious
Friend: what are you talking,you only loved her and harassed her she never loved you or treated you as her boy friend
Me: No she did i think, she didn't tell you about our relation
Friend:I used to ask her about you "that boy is very serious about you what about you do you like him" then she said "have you gone mad how can i love him look at him don't bother about him just ignore he is a fool" after hearing these words i thought why are you still bothering about her,she is not interested in you
Me: okay thank you and don't tell her that i asked you about this
1.What she did to me is she just cheated on me, she felt very insulting to say that i am her boyfriend due to my looks.
2.She made me a joker to the world saying "that look at him how mad he is"
3.She lied to me all the time that she loved me
surprisingly Mr A proposed her the man who called her as sister he only proposed her she rejected his proposal but not him she used to talk to him normally as a close friend so to that Mr A tried to rape her with his friends but she missed .
She had physical relation with one of her past boyfriend before marriage and after graduation 3 to 4 times
I am so depressed now i want to kill her she humiliated me about my appearance which is given by mom it is not my fault to be born in dark brown color
I am not able to digest what she did to me, she is so ashamed to call me friend also
I am dark brown, but i don't look scary like zombie
What should i do i am not able to forget what she did please help
Its long story but i wrote few painful incidents still my eyes are filled with water while writing my story . In India there are only people who want to listen to girls problems but no one is there to listen boys problems because all boys are perverts , no not at all we also have heart and we also cry
Please don't judge anyone by their looks and dress and don't play with their emotions