The reasons why i am getting into civils are,one family circumstance pushed me to solve the financial crisis and two, later i developed interest into it and left all the high payig jobs. I being financed by the third person who helped us to get out of financial crisis.So ,I dedicated my whole life and sacrificed my love to this preparation.
Coming to my personal life, I used to have deep relationship with my best friend ,over a period of time she became my love. But I had kept it away during the preparation and told her to give me 3-4 years of time to get into the service thereby i can convince your parents with my credentials. But their parents couldn't bother about it and havent given any chance and she didnt told her anything to her parent about me as she thought that they would do any harm to me.But she went through many depression phases to forget me .But this all costed her to the extent the she is getting married soon.
I cant get over her once i got to know the marriage date. I dont know what i am doing. I forgot why i entered into the preparatation and family situation and always thinking about her . I cried ,cried ,am crying. I want to forget all and continue my preparation since i cant change the fate of mine but i can change others once i get into the service. But I tried hard to let go of the things but i couldn't . Everyday , I make promise myself to start afresh by forget all.But my conscience not helping to me ,it is always goes to that memories.I dont know what to do but i want to live present and achive what i supposed to and make my family resilient ,and the end i somehow make the people happy if not myself.
I dont know . I can tell my brother and he is ready to listen but he is going through other problems as he got married recently .I told him once last year, he explained everything about family going through situations and even he agreed to get her. but i have seen the girl as tiny compared to all my problems. But since i had long relationship ,couldn't get over her and fact the she is getting married soon. All things getting flashed into my eyes.
My mind is not working properly. I dont know whome to tell. Then i shared with you all here. Sorry if i consume your time.