Hello @neha4444 !
I read what has been going on in your life and i can connect with your situation. It must be very difficult to work day after day in the environment that has been created around you.
See, the quality of your life, well being and productivity depend mainly on the people and living space around you. Your partner(as in Boyfriend), your friends , colleagues , family and even neighbors do play a very big role in determining what you do or don't.
Trust me, i am going through the same phase. But I can see you haven't given up yet ! That's the best thing and you should start from there.
Remember the greatest gift you have is your passion to do bigger things. It is those people, who believe that they won't settle for anything less than the best versions of their life.
If you really want to improve and get better i do have some suggestions for you and i hope you'll give them a sincere try:
1.Improve and create better relations with everyone
Talk to your mum and dad.Ask about their day and tell them anything new that has come up in your life. Call your friends from college and school. It's a blessing to remember the good days with them.
I am sure your boyfriend deeply cares about you. Its just that things get difficult sometimes. Take it slow and maintain a light atmosphere with him; he'll reciprocate.
2.Find out things you love or wanted to do since forever.
I am sure as a young girl you must have had a lot of dreams and crazy ideas. This is the time to make it happen. You work from home so schedule these HAPPY HOURS in your day. Paint ,read, dance , cook....there is a whole lot of things you can do. Make music your best friend when you feel low or are getting bored.
3.Go out more often and Explore
You are living in one of the most amazing cities in the country ! There is always something happening in Kolkata and if you chose right, the streets are lively. Find out parks, cafes, book lounges around you. Make it a point to leave your house atleast once each day. Have a walk, talk to the children in the neighborhood , meet new people , explore different restaurants.
MOST IMPORTANTLY DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR PASSION AND YOURSELF. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOUR SELF.
The struggle and frustration will pass away.
Do try everything with utmost hope and belief. I'll be happy if you get better.