I am a 30 years old male, working a comfortable job with most of the basic needs being met. However, I am severely frustrated and suffocated due to my marriage which I got pressured into and struggling to pacify myself.
Long story short, I was a very independent minded and ambitious young guy who did not want to get married or even get into a relationship for that matter. But during a particularly vulnerable phase of my life when I was 24, I got into a relationship. Almost immediately I regretted the decision, but I got trapped in it and could never come out of it. It was partly due to my immaturity and mainly due to the extremely pushy nature of my girlfriend. I clearly expressed my desire to leave multiple times throughout the years, but I was never able to leave because I was not able to handle the extreme pressure and emotional outbursts from my girlfriend and her parents. Moreover, I had no personal space to fully gather my thoughts and seek help from my friends. No matter how much I stuck to my decision to leave, I was always coerced into staying. Hence after multiple years of frustration, I finally agreed and got married since I could not find a way out.
Now we are married and living peacefully. But the relationship itself has been extremely claustrophobic and I feel I have a constant pressure to enjoy it while in reality I do not. I have become cut off from all my friends, family and social life. Though I do not show it to anyone, I am extremely depressed almost everyday where I feel that I have lost out my best years, personal life and dreams. It is as if have no desire to live like this but I do not have any other way out as well.
Everyone advises that one must accept the reality, look on the bright side and enjoy it as it is. To be honest, I have accepted this to a large degree, but I know my inner voice. I am extremely miserable, frustrated and regretful and I do not see any way out of it. Any advise would be really helpful here.