I feel sorry for you. But the thing called 'trust' is very much precious. She knows that you cheated on her, and she hesitates to trust you or does NOT trust you anymore. Hesitation is also a stage. To be very honest, you should have thought of her and losing her trust before when you were cheating on her. I understand that maybe you are not the same person anymore, but you have to prove it to her in some way. Confess to her again, and request her to forgive you and trust you once more. But then, you have to be worthy of the trust. At first, she might trust you partially, but you have to respect her partial trust only and prove that you are trustworthy. Don't force her at first only to trust you 100%, because remember why you had lost her trust before, that was your fault. So you have to work on this relationship to make it strong again. Another tip to you, don't ever try to be possessive about her, talk to her very politely, don't crack unwanted jokes, correct her when she is actually wrong, don't impose anything on her at all. Before she respects you, you too have to give her a reason why to respect you. And o yes, don't miss to say the SORRY to her. But don't give her any gifts while you say sorry, she may think that you were trying to buy her trust and respect with gifts and all, and don't even choose a mind-blowing expensive, luxurious spot to talk or don't have a gala surprise ready for her. Just talk to her on the phone or something like that. And if she is not wanting to talk to you, don't force her or nag, just wait, don't repeat the word 'sorry' over and over again, it will lose its meaning. Listen carefully to what she says to, and don't try to correct her in everything she says and prove that you are right. Be silent while she speaks, give her time. And be good and polite to her always. But if you see she is not at all willing to speak to you any more, don't use any sources to contact her, don't keep sending her messages and calls, realize that maybe she has lost any trust or faith on you. Leave it, and move on, but then keep in mind not to repeat this mistake with your next friend.