It looks like you are feeling really weighed down by the guilt of some things that you are feeling, in terms of looking for relationships primarily for physical intimacy and satisfaction.
I am hearing a number of things fro you through your message --
1. The part of you that has always been longing to find your partner - your soulmate, for whom you have been waiting, building relationship dreams - and over time today somehow you feel hopeless about this being met.
2. The part of you that finds that there are a number of aspects to a relationship - emotional intimacy, commitment, and physical intimacy and sex. And today as you have somehow given up hope about finding the first two, so you are looking to at least find a relationship to fulfill the third. But the part of you that holds values of "loyalty" in terms of committing to one person and not having casual sex, probably, is really making you feel guilty for this.
You seem to hence be struggling between the hopelessness on one side and the guilt on other side.
If what I have said above makes sense, I would invite you to think about two things..
1. To reconsider your hopelessness about finding and building a relationship that you desire. No one except you can probably understand how it really feels for you to have hoped for a lot of things but never found the kind of partner you have been looking for. And today you seem to be focusing more on some factors in yourself that might be a further hindrance for you in finding a partner and getting married. However, I would say to you things like - you are really only 34! And I believe you do have quite a lot of strengths within you as a person that make you lovable, desirable and worthy to be pursued as a partner. Your low self worth in itself might be blocking you from attracting and responding to love coming your way. If you are beginning to really love yourself and open yourself to the world with pride and confidence, accepting all your strengths and weaknesses, prospective partners are likely to catch that vibe and respond.
2. If you feel that you would like to have a relationship primarily for physical intimacy, and if you are clear about your expectations in this regard, to also be able to communicate the same to the other person, then a mutually consented relationship of such a nature would not be an issue, or anything for you to feel guilty about. But yes, what is important is that you are clear for yourself about what you need and why you need it - are you looking for physical intimacy and nothing else really? Or will a part of you begin to desire emotional connection with someone after being physically intimate with them? (because you have been looking at relationships a certain way so far). If you go ahead with something like this without this clarity, you might find yourself feeling hurt later on, leaving both individuals probably confused.
Hence, I would encourage you to think about these things. There is nothing to feel guilty about getting your needs met appropriately, by respecting your own and other people's boundaries. At the same time, this needs some clarity, especially if you are considering to do something that might be against some of your long held personal or societal values.
And I hope you can always remember - that you are worthy of love - for just who you are. And it is not that you need to give anything or provide anything and only then you would be a desirable partner. No. You could be desired for just who you are. And if you try and begin to believe this, it will help you in being able to attract prospective partners - for the kind of relationship you really want.
I hope this gives you some direction.
Warm regards and best wishes,