Thank you for sharing your concern here. It seems you have been in this relationship for a significant period, and have invested emotions and energy into this. It seems like stress might be triggering for him, and hence his overwhelming emotional reactions include being hurtful to you. Why I say hurtful is, that no matter how difficult it is for a person experiencing stress, that is no justification to be hurtful to his partner and bringing uncertainty in a relationship. Constant blame is also unhealthy for a relationship. I can understand how you feel when you want to break free, and it is evident that your writing here could be an attempt to do that. Not just breaking free from dilemmas but from the mental confusion surrounding it. It seems like there needs to be a better understanding of the dynamics of your relationship with him. See if you would like to have a chat session with us and let's see how can we provide support for the same.