Thank you for writing on the platform. it takes courage and strength to write about the things you have been through.
It is understandable why you would feel so, as you were among new people and not the only smart one around. The competition also would have been high, which might have led to you feeling inferior to others. It is normal to have been anxious about it. It seems like the fact that others seemed smarter than you has really troubled you feel that you should be at the same level as them. The lengths you have gone to, to ensure that you are also as smart as them speaks for itself. I feel that you got so occupied in making sure that you did everything you can to ensure this, that you somewhere did not pay as much attention that you should have towards the actual studies itself, and if you did pay attention to your studies, then it was somehow lessened due to your constant worry about not being the same.
I can understand how difficult the breakup must have been for you, especially after getting your parents involved in it too. It must have been a pretty bad break-up if there were threats of filing complaints against you.
I feel it would be better if you could come for a chat session with us so we can explore it better and we can sort of things one by one. You can connect to any expert who has expertise in the area of your concerns, i feel that would really help in getting clarity and perspective.
Shraddha Durg (Expert).