I am in the middle of a very similar situation. It's a SEXLESS marriage, without any physical touch whatsoever (not even kissing).
We’ve been married for over 3 years now. It was a fairy-tale love marriage, and we couldn't have asked for more.
I did make some mistakes (in fact, far too many to be honest) in my marriage, and I do regret. Nothing related to any extra-marital affair sort of, though. Mostly, things were related to family disputes, involving my parents, my sisters etc. leaving us fighting like cats & dogs. Going down the memory lane, I wish I could've handled things any better. She was disappointed by my actions & reactions, hurting her a lot (never physical though). She blamed me for taking sides, which I still believe was not the case (or could be). I did care for her & loved her, but I guess that wasn't enough for a successful marriage.
This might be the reason my wife started having an affair. She fell for a friend of his brother during the period she was at her parents place due an accident we met. I thought leaving her at her parents place would ensure better care, as I was mostly unavailable due to office work. How I wish I had not.
I came to know about my wife's affair in March, 2016. I confronted her, to which she agreed having an affair and physical relation with his friend. We had several rounds of constructive discussions, but we eventually decided to get separated. We were still in touch though and 2 months down the line, she decided to get back to me promising to end her affair and give a fresh start to our marriage.
We behaved normally, living a healthy life back again, except the fact that she never agreed to have any physical intimacy with me ( be it a hug, a kiss or sex). We did every thing a normal couple would do, caring for each other, cooking together, having fun, going out. Everything looks normal except our physical relationship. We did try to have sex a couple of times when I insisted, but she pretended it to be too painful, and quit right in the middle.
Few months later, I came to know that she's still continuing her affair, meeting her boyfriend, talking over the phone & chat, and having sex too (yes, I've the proof as I got access to her WhatsApp, and it was there in the chat). Upon yet another confrontation, she confessed having a continued relation with her boyfriend, including the sex part and him visit my place in my absence.She cried her heart-out seeking an apology.
I decided to move out of this marriage, to which she's not agreeing. She says she loves me and can't live without me. She promises to put an end to everything, and leave everything behind. My problem is, I can't see her crying to sleep every time I ask her to leave or get divorced.
I am in a state of mental block, not knowing what to do. I can't see her crying, and she seems helpless in getting over her boyfriend.
It's been over 19 months we last made love to each other, despite a very normal day-to-day life since she's back. We are living under the same roof as friends (rather good friends). I just don't know where we are heading though. I am addicted to porn and masturbation now. And all we do is sleep on separate beds in the same room after a normal day at work or together at home.