Sound like you're in much distress! Thank you for writing here to share your concerns. I invite you to connect with one of the clinical psychologists on the platform for sessions, they would be able to guide you through this, and you could find ways to manage what you are going through!
And I would encourage you, for a start, to recognize that as real and difficult as this is, it is still a PART of your life and who you are. I am sure there are also, a number of strengths in you as a person - things you are able to accomplish with relative ease, things people like about you, things people miss about you in your absence, and reasons why people rely on you for tasks - I would encourage you to reflect on and identify these more mindfully, and ensure you give time and energy for such things and places that fill you with confidence and hope, so it gives you more strength to manage what is so challenging with IBS and the anxiety that comes along.
Best wishes and warm regards,