How do you move on if it was THE guy

[swastij]

i met this guy and we were great friends for a year . we both had feelings, we both were similar in so many ways. fast forward, he did tell me he loved me. i agreed i loved him too. i have been in relationships before but nothing had felt this meant to be .never ever. initially, the things were crazy happy. i would come back to my room and be happy about everything that happened with him. my friends started seeing a new, wiser and better person and everyone acknowledged he was good for me. only thing, he did not feel so. he kept on having these constant backlashes about the relationship, about his career and the way it might be affecting him. in reality, we did not text much, called much and i was not consuming much of his time. i knew him as a friend and a person and was rather cautious of the way things went. i fell hard for him and there is no denying that for me i wanted it to go on forever. but, there was a constant feeling in him that kept on saying that he still needs to be him and his future includes just him and no one else. he needs to be successful without me in his future. i kept on asking him to stay even when he wanted to call it quits and i begged him to stay. but after the 3rd or the 4th time, i gave up. he did not want a relationship and i thought it was for the best to let him go. the only issue, i am stuck on him. the feelings i have been having include not even getting up from my bed just because i can't face him being okay away from me. his reaction to the whole breakup is barely anything and he is rather happy with the way things are in his life. i am happy for him, but there is a part of me that aches. i haven't been thinking of anyone but him and it's threatening my sanity. i have a stampede going in my head and at the same time it just feels blank. every time i see him, its another cut straight through the heart . i have been trying to get about my work, but not much is happening in that front and i am stuck badly. my friends have given up hope on me as an individual.
any suggestions will be welcome. how can i change the way i feel about everything, how can i get myself together?

[kritiyd]

Hi Swastij,

It seems like your friends were right, probably he was really good for you. And it does sound like you were really happy in this relationship. And I can imagine how it must have been heartbreaking when you came to know that he probably does not feel the same way about you or that he is not thinking of spending his life with you.

Just like there are two sides to a coin, there are always two sides of the same story. While your story sounds really sweet, happy and romantic; it is possible that his side of the story is not the same. Imagine a life where the love of your life is still with you but not happy. Is it possible that falling in love was never his priority? I wonder if you got a closure when you two decided to move apart from each other. If not, would you like to ask him exactly what went wrong for him? You can ask about his priorities, his wishes, what all did he want from life and what did you mean to him. Since you have mentioned you did not text or call much, or you did not take much of his time, it seems you had very little time for conversations. I don't know whether I understood your situation right and I might be wrong here but maybe you can try to have one last conversation with him that can help you get the closure that you're probably looking for. It might help you understand him better and finally get over him, so that you can focus on other things in your life.

Love is a wonderful feeling and I don't want you to regret falling in love. Very few people get to experience this feeling, and you should be glad that you did.

However, if you still feel that you need to discuss more you can connect with one of our experts and we will be more than happy to help you.

Warm regards,

Kriti

YD

[Dreamer75]

I'm going through the exact same thing. But I guess, it would get better. It takes time and we both would get through it..