It looks like you are trying to achieve something or wanting to do something and it's not happening. I can see anger, sadness, and other emotions that could be the outcome of it. It's great that you are trying to distract yourself from all of this by playing football and other things in college but, it is always good to talk things out and figure it out. Ending everything is not a solution, let's talk on it and maybe we will find a better way for it.
You can talk here itself or if you are not comfortable you can come online for chats with me or anyone here at YD.
Hope things get better soon:)