Like everyone else here, my life is in complete Chaos..cannot concentrate on work or friends or any relations.
Current State : Married since 2.5 years, arranged marriage, my first love contacted recently and am cheating my wife since then..feeling terribly guilty as my Wife is really deserving and loves me a lot.
Brief background about my relationship: I met her in Highschool, she was friends's GF's Friend - Love at first sight, spent quality time for 2 years until her parents came to know and opposed our relationship (Different Religions!!). She hesitantly broke up, promised never to contact, left no contacts. End of story.
Meanwhile, she researched my contact number and contacted me after 5 years on phone, spoke for few mins and again Cut-off any contacts.
Later on she contacted after 7 years via my mutual friend (None had any means to contact her including mutual friends), stating she'll fly to US for further studies.
Now after 10 years she is back again, yet this time not leaving. She gave only email address to maintain contact while she has all my contact information. She never gives her contact information rather than email and I have given all phone numbers emails address work address etc. but I have none of her except email id.
Meanwhile her side, she is Engaged to family friend's Son but says she loves me more than anything.
My life was going okay when she was away, but since she is back I am all lost in that old Love again, but this guilt feeling on cheating my wife is eating me up from inside so much so as am depressed with frequent mood swings, am talking to wife rudely, comparing her to my now found first love and finding faults and quarreling on petty issues with wife.
I cannot forget my GF nor I can ignore my wife, the feeling is terrible, please suggest how do I handle the situation.
Thanks in Advance.