Sad to know about your situation.
IN my opinion, you need to speak to your family or friends and explain to them as to what is happening to you. I am sure they have their own observations about you.
Please seek the help of a psychologist. I don't believe writing to people on YourDost.com is going to give your the right solution. It will only give you temporary consolation.
So, get help from family and seek external intervention.