Its apparent that you are undergoing an emotional crisis and this must be a very hard time for you. And as you have mentioned it yourself, its affecting you and your mental well being.
If you ask me, whether you need Psychological or Psychiatric intervention or not is a different matter. Rather, let that concern be answered at a later stage, maybe as a part of a process. What I feel is more important here is for you to vent. You know, let it out, pour it out. Open the windows of your heart and let it breathe fresh air.
And this I think should be done with a person who lets you speak, without interruptions. Who does not judge you, who listens, not just hears.
And why I think its important is that since your state of mind is not peaceful, which means that there are things wanting to come out. Let them. Even if its repeating what has already been told. Let the negativity out. And crying is therapeutic. So don't stop those tears. They will flush out a lot of toxins and a good cry will also make you feel better and lighter.
I know you aren't very keen on talking to a psychologist. But I suggest you give it another shot. If online counseling isn't helping much, meet someone face to face. Many a times we don't realize but we just want to be heard.Empathized with. Many a times, this flushing out solves half the problems. And who knows, this could be the treatment you have been looking for! If not, the therapist will know and will steer your sessions as per the requirements.. So don't hold anything back, just let it out, let it go..
A concerned friend.