Hi guys so this is something that has been bothering me for a long. My dad has a ill habit of abusing people; in fact my uncle has been the same. I guess it’s because the kind of friends they had during their childhood has influenced them.
I’m 24 year old female, kind of financially independent living with my parents and two siblings who are younger and very dear to me along with my mom, who is my best friend.
Its only my dad that i feel i can’t connect with him or be may over the years as i have grown up and seen and travelled so much, met so many people i have a different vision of living life and handling things (not to brag since I have learned the hard way i handle things in a more mature way than he does.
The thing that is bothering me is that, my dad who when i was child loved me so much, took care of me so much had always been the normal dad to me, now thinks of me like a enemy because of various reason.
Firstly ever since my childhood he has never been financially well settled, we have always compromised and accepted whatever the situation has been. Not that I’m complaining about it, i respect the fact and all the sacrifices as a father he has done for his family. But over these couple of years ever since i started earning and becoming financially independent his attitude towards me and everything else has completely changed.
I don’t think it’s wrong to be dependent on a child, but it’s definitely tiring and emotionally exhausting to see a father abusing a daughter and removing his outside or work anger on her. It makes me think my father has changed. Not just this since it’s been 26 years my parents are married, my mom always thinks she never got enough respect and support from him and now when she realises its too late for her to react as all these years it was her patience that kept everything from her side manageable to run the her family. Well my uncle on the other hand is similar to him in terms of abusing and short tempering but at least he respect, supports and be-friends my cousin in her life unlike my father which rips me.
In all this what hurts me the most is that even after helping him financially when he needs help he abuses me when at certain point i cant or if i disagree to help him reason because he is very bad in managing money and yes somewhere not trust worthy with his words. ( and also knowing that if he’s won’t help me i have to look after myself which i have already done in several situations since mom is too helpless and she feels weak)
Coming to the point i feel I’m drifting away from my dad and I think it’s ok since its better for my mental health as i have already dealt in past with few toxic people and I think it’s the best for me to may be cut off/ leave such people behind, isn’t it??