I can see that you are going through a lot of agony. I am trying to imagine the intensity of your pain as you say you feel like burning and turning into something else. It seems like a way to get rid this excruciating pain in you. Your pain seems to be getting compounded by your feeling lonely and no one to talk to or care for you.
In all this hopelessness and helplessness, I do see a ray of hope as you reached out for help by writing on this platform. Please hold on to it, as depression can seem like there is no way out of the problems, pain seems endless and not finding enough resources to cope, a person thinks the only way out is end one’s life.
I am also wondering when you say depression, are you referring to clinical depression. Have you consulted any psychiatrist? If not, then that is the first thing I would suggest you to do on an immediate basis. Meanwhile, if you find yourself too overwhelmed with emotional pain and get thoughts of harming self, please take an appointment with a counsellor with whom you can share your pain and they will guide you towards a safety plan.
Depression feels permanent, but it is a phase which will pass provided you get proper diagnosis and right kind of help. Medications and psychotherapy go hand in hand to treat depression. Remember, hope and help is there.
Hoping you find an outlet to your pain soon,