I had an emotional breakdown in July 2017, which became worse since 2018. My academic performance got affected. Although now i don't think about past too much (but i m still depressed to some extent), but something has happened to my brain and i can't understand it.
I used to like physics very much since class 8/9 (eg: i studied concepts of 11th-12th in 9th-10th through self study only), I like math too. I was always topper of my school. But now, whenever I try to study physics/chemistry i get depressed and end up the day with a headache and with negligible productive work done!
But my interest in math has increased to a great extent. For 2 years i prepared for it, but few months back i decided to instead take up B.Sc. in math and go for research in future.
I can study higher math to a good extent and i enjoy it, after studying for hours i feel happy & excited instead of fatigued.
But the thing is i am not sure if i will get CMI or ISI( best colleges for maths UG course), because i have prepared for jee maths for 2 years and their exam is subjective with a lil different kind of syllabus( only maths is asked but of higher level).
I can join iiser through jee advanced which is also a good college, but then jee needs physics chemistry too along with maths.
I m confused what to do! I don't understand why my damn brain has suddenly stopped accepting physics which once i loved!!
I feel helpless, it feels like my own self is cheating me.
I m already emotionally broken, now i can't compromise on my career.
Although cmi and isi take drop outs too, but then i will have to waste a whole year!
Everyone expects too much from me, which i was capable of, but i messed up my 12th board exams too, where i was supposed to do 95+ i have 85+, i will barely end up with 90% probably (only English and maths went good...95+).
Boards marks don't matter, but my college will matter!
I just don't know how to convince my foolish brain to study physics, chemistry too along with maths!
