its just that simple, nothing in life is interesting im bored beyond all belief, ive gone through tons and tons of counsellors and psychiatrists a myriad of medications and all for what, to end up a failure and disappointment with no hope for a future alone and sad with nothing to live for.
everyone sucks, im 25 now and constantly reminded im a failure by those around me
im unable to move on from the deaths of loved ones
the future terrifies me and everytime i think about the coming week i panic
im suicidal but i cant seem to achieve it and mostly end up getting hurt
whats the point in continuing if nothing is gonna happen and no-one wants me?
no job no love losing friends and sanity and the spark i had for life faded when i was young, i just want life to not be boring
on top of this im schizophrenic and i cant stop seeing crap and hearing crap and sometimes i feel like i want to cause pain (bleeding physical pain) to someone else, not to feel better about my self but for fun, it feels like bloodlust
idk what to do anymore
why am here? idk anymore running out of places to turn i guess everything else has failed so why not, i guess?