I didn't study properly in 3rd semester. and i end up getting 63% in 3rd semester. i had got 69% in 1st semester and 76% in 2nd semester. i got 72% in 4th semester. i am currently in 5th semester.
that 3rd semester 63% is hunting me. i still have 1 subject back paper of 3rd semester.
i did a big mistake by starting a blog in college. i wasted lots of time in writing blog. that made me fuck up my studies. i involved too much in extra curricular activities. i really regret doing all these as they were not that useful for my future and present.
i was living unconsciously. those regrets hunts me today...i have concepts that are still unsolved..i feel so bad when i see those topics.
i was living totally unconsciously...
during that time, i was living in different room than i used to and currently i am living in the same room...it gives me even more trauma and fear and regrets....i can't even change my room now.
i didn't even give some exams(forgot to wake up, or hadn't studied anything).....really fucked up everything...
subjects were digital logic, electronic devices and circuits, electric circuit theory, electromagnetics....i still remember how much i loved these subjects....and i was good in those concepts and could easily get 75%+ if i had studied properly in that semester...
i really really have big regrets... i really don't know what i can do?
our average engineering percentage=40% from first year and second year+60% from third year and fourth year.
due to that 3rd semester low marks, it is really tough for me to get good marks in engineering...those regrets come to everyday...those concepts that i didn't study that time come to every moments..
i have lockdown, and soon lockdown is ending...
but i have changed my room, and after changing my room, my life has been again fucked up..i used to get distracted by other people when i was in another room, currently i don't even have distractions...and that has made me instrospect a lots(which i think becomes useless when you keep doing it for whole day and night)..
what should be my goal now?
how should i get motivated and proceed from now?
what things should i keep check on?
PS-: even on back exam, i fucked up due to working on my blog and not studying properly. currently, i have disabled my blog so that it doesn't waste more time. i mistakenly renewed the hosting, but i am sure i won't after 1 year...and i have already shutted down website so that i can't see statistics and google adsense income and waste time...till there is a blog, i always found new ways to waste my time in my blog.
blog really fucked up my life. although i learnt about making money from it....but i am never going to do it in my life..