{"id":9341,"date":"2016-09-24T22:20:10","date_gmt":"2016-09-24T16:50:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=9341"},"modified":"2016-09-24T22:41:21","modified_gmt":"2016-09-24T17:11:21","slug":"cost-of-being-nice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2016\/09\/cost-of-being-nice.html","title":{"rendered":"Being Too Nice Can Not Only Be Costly But Dangerous For You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Remember <\/span>Archie Comics<\/i><\/b> where Archie is sandwiched between Veronica and<\/span> Betty? <\/span>Veronica is a gorgeous go-getter who is <\/span>brash, brimming with confidence and self-assured.<\/b> Betty,<\/b> in contrast, is a sweet girl who is <\/span>ever nice, understanding and polite<\/b>. Of course, Betty \u00a0considerate and smart but what does she get in return? <\/span>She is almost always taken for granted!<\/b><\/p>\n

How often have you felt exploited, used and being taken for granted for being nice to others?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Being overly nice can be over-rated!<\/span><\/p>\n

The concept of \u2018being nice\u2019 is ingrained within us to such an extent that we have become habituated to being too nice even at the cost of trampling our own sense of self-respect and dignity. Research studies<\/a> indicate that individuals who are extremely nice to others tend to have an <\/span>excessive and constant need to seek approval of others<\/b> and end up being people-pleasers.<\/span><\/p>\n

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According to Les Barbanell, psychologist and author of Removing <\/a><\/i><\/b>The Mask of Kindness<\/i><\/b><\/a>, extreme selflessness is a character trait that can be used to mask a variety of psychological and emotional problems.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Furthermore, behind the mask, there is often<\/span> misery, emotional isolation, guilt, shame, anger, and anxiety. <\/b>This is not to say that we need to become offensive, rude or impolite; rather it is about becoming aware of some of the ways in which we can avoid being taken for granted.<\/span><\/p>\n

What can you do about this?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

1. The art of saying \u2018No\u2019 graciously<\/strong><\/h3>\n

People who are overly nice have a tendency to say \u2018Yes\u2019 to everything \u2013 even when they don\u2019t want to. If you can relate to this, think for a moment and pause before giving an answer based on your convictions and priorities.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Saying \u2018no\u2019 makes a lot of us nervous and when we are nervous there is a tendency to keep talking, and talking, and talking. Avoid getting into such situations by keeping your answers short and precise.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Here are <\/span>five<\/i><\/b> general pointers that can help you to say \u2018No\u2019 politely:<\/span><\/p>\n