{"id":8511,"date":"2016-07-27T14:16:19","date_gmt":"2016-07-27T08:46:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=8511"},"modified":"2016-07-27T14:16:19","modified_gmt":"2016-07-27T08:46:19","slug":"caregiver-stress-cancer-counselling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2016\/07\/caregiver-stress-cancer-counselling.html","title":{"rendered":"My Mom’s fight with Cancer pushed me into Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was 2 years old when my mother was diagnosed with cancer.<\/strong> I had to assume the role of a caregiver although I was still a young child. I had to accustom myself to all the challenges that came along with cancer \u2013 attending to midnight emergencies, the side effects of chemotherapy & radiation and the slow organ failure. All this while I was in school, college and when I entered my workplace.<\/p>\n

I had my episodes of depression in the entire course but I distracted myself with studies and hobbies and went on with my life. I didn\u2019t realize I was just bottling up my feelings. I would often tell myself that it was physical and mental fatigue and as such no big deal.<\/p>\n

And then the unfortunate happened.<\/p>\n

\n

After battling cancer for 21 years my mother died a slow and painful death. In my heart, I knew that this is going to happen sooner or later and in my head, I had envisioned the same a thousand times.\u00a0 But when it eventually happened I was just shattered into million pieces.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

In an instant, I lost all the purpose in life. I would sleep for 14\/15 hours a day, and on waking up would just stare at the ceiling wondering why I should get out of the bed. My productivity shrunk. In the office, I would just stare at the computer screen for hours. Every once in a while, the thought would hit me that I would never be able to hear my mother\u2019s voice or feel her touch again. And it was just crippling me more and more.<\/p>\n

I was living alone during that time. I became all the more distant to my friends and colleagues. I would dismiss anyone who tried to come closer to me. And it wasn\u2019t very long when I began to have audio\/video hallucinations.<\/p>\n

\n

My own shadow would scare me. I would often play loud music to shun the voices playing in my head. It took me more than 6\/8 months to feel safe in my own house. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This continued for a year and a\u00a0half but my condition didn\u2019t change much. It was mild in the beginning but gained momentum and soon I had started developing an\u00a0urge to physically hurt myself to stop feeling anything. \u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

One day at around 4 a.m. in the morning I found myself holding a kitchen knife ready to slit my wrist. When this happened I realized that I desperately needed help. Cutting myself off and cocooning my own <\/em>self was not helping me. I was lost and had no clue where to head, who to ask help for, and who to talk to.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Most people had also stepped back since they wanted to give me my own space. One friend though who had experienced a similar trauma practically saved me. Her assuring talks helped me be back on track. I started opening up again and began enjoying meeting new people!<\/p>\n

I still get those episodes of depression time and again but after a year I have finally found a purpose for myself out of the bed. There is a permanent vacuum created in my life which can never be filled but it doesn\u2019t feel so heavy to pull me down.<\/p>\n

If you are going through a difficult phase in life,\u00a0you can talk to our experts online<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Credits:\u00a0Youth Ki Awaaz<\/a><\/sub><\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was 2 years old when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I had to assume the role of a caregiver although I was still a young child. I had to accustom myself to all the challenges that came along with cancer \u2013 attending to midnight emergencies, the side effects of chemotherapy & radiation and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[170],"class_list":["post-8511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression-and-bipolar-disorder","tag-mental-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8511","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8511"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8511\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8511"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8511"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8511"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}