{"id":8357,"date":"2016-06-28T22:39:47","date_gmt":"2016-06-28T17:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=8357"},"modified":"2017-05-22T19:52:41","modified_gmt":"2017-05-22T14:22:41","slug":"how-to-be-likeable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2016\/06\/how-to-be-likeable.html","title":{"rendered":"6 Tips To Get People To Like You More"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To most of us, meeting new people (or rather having to face new people) is a scary thought. We often bog ourselves down with certain questions, for instance, what would we say when we meet them? Will we make a good first impression? How will we keep the conversation going on?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/yourdost-blog-images.s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/28220717\/shahrukh.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8358\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-8358\" src=\"http:\/\/yourdost-blog-images.s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/28220717\/shahrukh.jpg\" alt=\"get others to like you\" width=\"1024\" height=\"717\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, it\u2019s not very healthy \u2012 and advisable \u2012 to dodge such opportunities \u2012 of meeting new people \u2012 because, for our personal and professional growth, networking is exceedingly important no matter how awkward it seems.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><strong>In this post, we bring to some actionable tips on how to make others like you.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<h3><b>1. Don\u2019t Judge People<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amy Cuddy, in her new best-selling book,\u00a0<em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Presence-Bringing-Boldest-Biggest-Challenges\/dp\/0316256579\/\" target=\"_blank\">Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges<\/a><\/em>, writes that when we meet someone, our brain instantly tries to find answer two most important questions:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Can I trust this person?<\/strong><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Can I respect this person?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To this effect, it\u2019s important to establish the right connection, build the right rapport and create trust. Retired FBI\u2019 Behavioral Analysis Program head, Robin Dreeke, in his book, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Its-Not-All-About-Techniques-ebook\/dp\/B0060YIBLK?\" target=\"_blank\">It&#8217;s Not All About &#8220;Me&#8221;: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone<\/a>,<\/em>\u00a0highlights the idea of <strong>non-judgemental validations<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<em>It is to seek someone else\u2019s thoughts and opinions without judging them<\/em>\u201d, writes Robin. To put things into perspective, he gives his own example where if he doesn&#8217;t <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">necessarily agree with something or understand it, instead of judging, he would say,\u00a0<\/span><\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<\/span><\/i><strong><i>Oh, that\u2019s really fascinating. I never heard it in quite that way,<\/i><\/strong><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>\u00a0Help me understand. How did you come up with that?<\/strong>\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here, you are not judging, but you are actually showing interest in the other person.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>2.\u00a0<b>Get Rid of Your Own Ego<\/b><\/h3>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of<\/span><\/i> <i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotion.<\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2012 Dale Carnegie<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ego kills rapport and deters people to establish a\u00a0meaning relationship. Here Robin suggests the idea of <strong>Ego Suspension<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He says, \u201c<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Suspending your ego is nothing more complex than putting other individuals\u2019 wants, needs, and perceptions of reality ahead of your own. Individuals practicing good ego suspension would continue to encourage the other individual to talk about his or her story, neglecting their own need to share what they think is a great story.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>3.\u00a0<b>Learn To be a Good Listener<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">People like to be accepted and liked. They liked to be validated. What makes validation so crucial, you ask? It releases dopamine to the pleasure center of our brains. The chemical reaction is similar to the one that takes place after drinking an\u00a0alcoholic beverage, taking risks, or eating a large slice of your favorite chocolates. One such validation comes from listening. And this is one trait that likable people have. They are all great listeners.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But the problem is most people half-heartedly listen as they just wait for their opportunity to tell their story.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Robins says,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cThe difficulty most of us have is keeping from interjecting our own thoughts, ideas, and stories during the conversation. <strong>True validation coupled with ego suspension means that you have no story to offer, that you are there simply to hear theirs<\/strong>.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Simple asking them to<a href=\"http:\/\/www.gsb.stanford.edu\/sites\/gsb\/files\/publication-pdf\/Chen%2C%20Minson%2C%20%26%20Tormala%20%282010%2C%20JESP%29.pdf\"> tell you more<\/a> makes you more likable.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>4.\u00a0<b>Ask For Advice<\/b><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In his bestselling book, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success\/dp\/0143124986\/\" target=\"_blank\">Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success<\/a>,\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.getlittlebird.com\/blog\/how-to-influence-the-influencers-ask-for-their-advice\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Adam Grant writes<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201c<strong>New research shows that advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority<\/strong>. In one experiment, researcher Katie Liljenquist had people negotiate the possible sale of commercial property. When the sellers focused on their goal of getting the highest possible price, only 8 percent reached a successful agreement. <strong>When the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet their goals, 42 percent reached a successful agreement.<\/strong><\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Asking for advice encouraged greater cooperation and information sharing, turning a potentially contentious negotiation into a win-win deal.<\/strong> Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance, and pharmaceuticals industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates. <strong>Advice seeking tends to be significantly more persuasive than the taker\u2019s preferred tactics of pressuring subordinates and ingratiating superiors.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But here\u2019s the catch: advice seeking only works if it\u2019s genuine. In her research on advice seeking, Liljenquist finds that its <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">success depends on the target perceiving it as sincere and authentic gesture.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>5.\u00a0<b>Mind Your Body Language<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Smile is perhaps the most important tool to connect with almost anyone. Research, however, says that a <strong>slow smile<\/strong> is far more effective.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/link.springer.com\/article\/10.1007\/s10919-006-0019-x\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">research study on an\u00a0effect of smile<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> says that\u00a0\u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Slow onset smiles led to more positive evaluations of the encoder and the smiles.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Making an eye contact while talking to another tactic to make others like you. When you don\u2019t it signals<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dnGQvoqtP88\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">deception or lack of request<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Speaking with open<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=ZZZ7k8cMA-4\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">palms facing upwards<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> makes you\u00a0a more likeable person, and people may concur with you more likely. \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now that you know the coveted secret, use them and hit the right cord. Do get back to us about your experiences by writing in the comments below.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align: left; color: black;\"><em>If you want further advice on how to be a\u00a0more likeable person, get in touch with YourDOST experts.\u00a0<\/em><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To most of us, meeting new people (or rather having to face new people) is a scary thought. We often bog ourselves down with certain questions, for instance, what would we say when we meet them? Will we make a good first impression? How will we keep the conversation going on? Unfortunately, it\u2019s not very [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-confidence","category-self-growth"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8357\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}