{"id":2701,"date":"2025-05-13T08:20:59","date_gmt":"2025-05-13T08:20:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=2701"},"modified":"2025-05-25T08:13:41","modified_gmt":"2025-05-25T08:13:41","slug":"anjalis-story-of-stepping-out-of-her-unhealthy-household-with-counseling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/anjalis-story-of-stepping-out-of-her-unhealthy-household-with-counseling.html","title":{"rendered":"Anjali\u2019s Story Of Stepping Out Of Her Unhealthy Household With Counseling"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Trigger warning: Domestic abuse & suicidal thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali, a 27-year-old UPSC Aspirant from Hyderabad, is on a mission to experience life to the fullest. She is an MBA graduate and works as a Programmatic Analyst at Annalect, Hyderabad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali was born in a small village in Andhra. Her family, which included her parents and a brother, moved to Hyderabad to earn a living. She explains that she never had a good relationship with her family, as they are the root cause of every trauma she has gone through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali elaborates that her father was an alcoholic and ignored the responsibilities of being a husband or a father. Due to this, her mother had to run the family independently, so she started working as a house help for some families. After trying various measures for a while, Anjali\u2019s mom remarried. That was when Anjali began living with her mom and stepfather while her brother went to their grandmother\u2019s house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though Anjali\u2019s stepfather took care of the expenses at home, Anjali says he was abusive,  which affected her a lot. Living with them for more than 20 years has emotionally drained Anjali extensively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she started working with Annalect, she attended seminars and heard about her company\u2019s partnership with the YourDOST platform. She got a good impression and started taking sessions with the experts available.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first session felt refreshing for Anjali. She had never shared her past with anybody because she feared being judged. Initially, she shared only work and stress-related issues with the therapist. Still, once she separated from her parents, Anjali said she came forward and shared everything without leaving anything out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI have huge dreams for myself, but I was unable to focus on my future or present because of my dysfunctional family. I hesitated to start therapy with YourDOST because I felt disgusted, but I didn\u2019t want to hold back anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Anjali elaborates that when her mother felt ignored by her father, she started having affairs with multiple partners. At just 6 years old, Anjali couldn\u2019t understand why men visited her home, or why she and her mother went to their houses. Even though the affairs stopped after her mother remarried, Anjali\u2019s stepfather figured out the past due to circumstances, and he started developing suspicions about her mother, which turned the environment hostile for the family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mother told my stepfather about how my father was an alcoholic and unavailable, and he felt bad for us and married her. He also comes from a toxic household; he started abusing me and my brother physically and verbally and used to call it disciplining. Because of that, my brother ran to my grandmother\u2019s house and never returned. After so once he knew about the affairs, things got worse.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali explains that on a particular day when her stepfather was angry with her mother, he made Anjali bring him a knife from the kitchen to threaten her mother\u2019s life. She adds that it was traumatic because all her life, she used to fear him and did everything he asked her to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali explains that her stepfather hated socialising and never allowed her to play with neighbours or have friends. They were so isolated that there weren\u2019t even any other elders to guide her except for the two people she lived with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cAll my childhood, I used to eat, sleep, read and be a witness when my parents took it out on me due to their unstable relationship. We never went to family gatherings, weddings, or funerals. My mother also made me fear making connections with people because she didn\u2019t want me to disclose information about the family to anyone.\u201d <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Anjali says her stepfather used to mock and criticise her a lot, which stunned her growth. She explains that her mother made her keep quiet and bear the abuse since he was providing for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI used to think he was a very good person because he took us in, gave us food, and put me in school. Since my father didn\u2019t do all of these, I thought it was saintly of my stepfather. I was unaware that money comes secondary and having a healthy household is more important.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali explains that she tried to harm herself when she was in third and eighth grade due to all the toxicity at home. She adds that she has always lived with suicidal tendencies, but it became unbearable when after she grew up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cAfter I became an adult, I started understanding my family\u2019s mistakes. I have had a heart condition from birth, which had to be treated when I was born itself, but it was only at 25 I went to the doctor and went ahead with the surgery.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Anjali explains that her mother refused to help her financially during the surgery and pushed her brother, who earns less than Anjali, to take a loan and give it to her. She felt hurt because her mother and her stepfather didn\u2019t take care of Anjali and told her to go back to work right after one month of surgery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she was trying to heal, her stepfather repeatedly asked for money from Anjali, and even when she arranged for it, he remained the same and criticised her for everything. Being physically weak too after the heart surgery, Anjali couldn\u2019t take it anymore and asked her father to move out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mother kept asking me to make my stepfather return home. When I disagreed, she left me alone even though I was still in post-op and moved out to be with him. I paid for rent, food and medicines without anybody\u2019s support.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali says her suicidal tendencies got more intense after the incident. After revealing all these in therapy, Anjali started understanding her patterns and the patterns of her family. She decided to work on her part with complete trust in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cParents inspire every child, but things weren\u2019t ideal for me. Growing up in a negative environment where I was verbally abused, body shamed and criticised a lot, I developed a lot of self-doubts despite being top of the class.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Attending the weekly sessions, Anjali felt she was reflecting on what her parents were, not who she was. Anjali explains that she became more self-aware and took various perspectives from the counselors. She realised that she was capable of achieving all along, but it was her stepfather who planted self-doubts and negative emotions in her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was obsessed with the thoughts of my past, and I couldn\u2019t move forward or focus on my civil service exam preparations. I decided not to be a victim anymore.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali notes that her life wouldn\u2019t change if she weren\u2019t willing to change. She describes that she decided to try to bring change into her life consciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She notes that all her counselors, including her current counselor, Ms Daisy Jagadeshan asked the right questions and employed methods depending on her needs. She gave her various tips like journaling and mindful techniques to break the cycle. Although Anjali is working on breaking out those patterns, she still has a long way to go, according to her. She also says that her self-harming thoughts have stopped completely, and the intensity of the impact of her trauma has reduced as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cFor more than 20 years, I never knew what happiness was because of my family. I\u2019m determined not to end my life without experiencing the fullest form of happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

After being in therapy for more than ten months now, Anjali is glad that she has a safer environment to share and express herself. She is thankful that her counselors listen to her without prejudice and try to help her in every way possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she rates herself 3 out of 5, Anjali adds that even though breaking her cycle is hard, she will succeed. After a few months, she assured us we would contact her to show us that she did it! We feel proud of her journey with us and appreciate her optimism. We have faith in Anjali and that she will keep evolving and ravaging more in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anjali\u2019s Warrior Tips:<\/strong>
1.\u201cAwareness about mental health should be from school, as people with mental health issues are still judged.\u201d<\/strong>
2.\u201cPsychologists should be equal to doctors in creating a safer environment for people; Better mental health is a must-have criterion for a better standard of living.\u201d<\/strong>
3.\u201cBe open to other\u2019s perspectives and understand where they come from.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. <\/em><\/strong>click here<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0to submit your story.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trigger warning: Domestic abuse & suicidal thoughts Anjali, a 27-year-old UPSC Aspirant from Hyderabad, is on a mission to experience life to the fullest. She is an MBA graduate and works as a Programmatic Analyst at Annalect, Hyderabad. Anjali was born in a small village in Andhra. Her family, which included her parents and a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2702,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,64,39,92],"tags":[61,28,29,60,34,43,58,51,27,26],"class_list":["post-2701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse","category-emotional-abuse","category-love-relationship","category-parental-relationships","tag-buildingboundaries","tag-counselingsupport","tag-healingfromtrauma","tag-healthyrelationships","tag-reconnectingwithself","tag-silentwhispers","tag-supportsystems","tag-yd-diaries","tag-yd-stories","tag-youarenotalone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2701"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3093,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2701\/revisions\/3093"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}