When your self-esteem rises, your life follows\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Zafar, 22, is a final year B.Tech student of the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology, BHU, Varanasi. Approachable and pleasant to talk to, he is very candid about his own struggles. His story starts in 2016 when he joined college.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a very new experience for me. I suddenly felt a lot of pressure to change myself completely.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Zafar had always been a bit of an introvert who took time to open up to people. College life however seemed to require him to rush into it. People would click together from day 1, friends groups were formed, and before he could match the other people\u2019s pace, Zafar found himself alone.<\/p>\n \u201cIt took my peers so little time to form groups. I had been left behind. Sure I had friends, but no close ones.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Inevitably, feelings of loneliness & even jealousy started creeping in.<\/p>\n I would see the kind of intimacy my peers displayed with each other in their groups. I yearned for something similar. I felt so jealous of them<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Zafar struggled with overthinking, low self-confidence and low self-esteem. He would feel that there was something wrong with him as a person. In his mind, people disliked him for this reason and thus didn\u2019t want to be friends with him. Keep in mind, that this wasn\u2019t necessarily true but this demonstrates the adverse effects of loneliness on mental health.<\/p>\n \u201cI felt that I wasn\u2019t good enough for anyone to be friends with me. I became overly self-conscious of what I would speak. I became a people pleaser. In my mind I had to be liked by everyone or there was something wrong with me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n All this while, Zafar had been performing well academically so this definitely wasn\u2019t a source of worry for him. But his distress reached a new high when he started experiencing anxiety attacks.<\/p>\n \u201cI knew I needed to seek guidance. That\u2019s when I approached YourDOST and connected with their Expert, Ms. Sheetal Rajput.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n He distinctly remembers his first session with her.<\/p>\n I let out everything that had been troubling me. It felt so good. I felt lighter, like I had been carrying a heavy weight and had finally put it down<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Sheetal knew from the get go what needed to be worked on. Zafar displayed distinct signs of low self-confidence, low self-esteem, and most importantly, a lack of self-love. Over the next few weeks and months, they scheduled follow-up sessions. Zafar would share his thoughts, his worries and his frustrations with Sheetal and she would challenge them and point out the logical fallacies and cognitive biases in his thought process. Soon the results too were apparent. As Zafar himself states,<\/p>\n \u201cI started getting more and more comfortable with being myself, with who I was fundamentally as a person. I started to slowly understand that it\u2019s okay if there were people who didn\u2019t like me. In fact it became clear that it\u2019s absolutely impossible to be liked by every single person.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Sheetal also taught Zafar some new techniques that would help him overcome his cognitive biases as well as his anxiety.<\/p>\n She told me to start journaling as it would help give an outlet to my emotions and thoughts that were bothering me. She also taught me some breathing exercises which helped me manage my anxiety<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It has been a couple of months since Zafar last connected with Sheetal. He has since gone through his on-campus placement process and was one of the first few people among his batchmates to receive a job offer, an achievement that though unsurprising in Zafar\u2019s case, certainly gave him a happiness boost.<\/p>\n Zafar has been at home since the nationwide lockdown started. The lockdown unfortunately hasn\u2019t been very easy for him.<\/p>\n \u201cI am definitely better in terms of my self-esteem now. But my overthinking is back which is affecting me emotionally. I haven\u2019t stuck with journaling and practicing breathing exercise. But I know that I have the tools to get back in control of my mind, and if ever things get too overwhelming, I always have YourDOST to come back to for help.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Zafar is an avid mental health advocate and encourages anyone and everyone in distress to seek professional help.<\/p>\n A counselor is like a friend with whom you can share anything. They will not judge you, they will listen to you, and they will help you understand yourself better and eventually overcome your troubles. If your mind is being mean to you, I highly recommend you to please connect with a counselor<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. <\/i><\/b>click here<\/a><\/i><\/b><\/a> to submit your story.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Zafar’s Warrior Tips: If there\u2019s a saying that perfectly encapsulates Zafar\u2019s journey in the past 4 years or so, it is this one by best-selling author and speaker Mandy Hale – \u201cIf you don\u2019t see your worth, you\u2019ll always choose people who don\u2019t see it either. When your self-esteem rises, your life follows\u201d Zafar, 22, is a final […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-growth","category-self-esteem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16592\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"He](\"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Warroiorstory-blog-mohammad-asif-zaki-image1.png\")
<\/p>\n![\"He](\"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Warroiorstory-blog-mohammad-asif-zaki-image2.png\")
<\/p>\n![\"Lockdown](\"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Warroiorstory-blog-mohammad-asif-zaki-image3.png\")
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\n1. It\u2019s impossible to be liked by everyone so be yourself, not a people-pleaser
\n2. If you feel you don\u2019t love yourself enough, seek help
\n3. There\u2019s nothing wrong with seeking counseling. It doesn\u2019t make you weak
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"