I tried to take my own life when I was 16 years old. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nI was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and high school was getting to me. I was also struggling academically and it got to a point that I just couldn\u2019t take it. This is when I attempted to end it all. I tried to strangle myself but I chickened out midway because I was scared that I would lose my voice, very amusing if you think back on it.<\/span><\/p>\nI don\u2019t know if I should say this or not but some days, I regret that I didn\u2019t go through with it and other days I am grateful that I stopped when I did.<\/p>\n
![\"sneha-Inner-image-1\"](\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\")
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It hasn\u2019t been an easy life. It took me a long time to reach out for help. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nMy family doesn\u2019t know about my attempt and I would like to keep it that way. I have been pretty vocal about my mental health in general but I haven\u2019t told my family about my attempt. We haven\u2019t discussed the aspect of suicide and suicidal thoughts with each other. Another reason why I can\u2019t find the strength to talk to them about it is because I know it will shatter them to pieces.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThis is why I would like to stay anonymous today. I do have a supportive family and a first circle that is there for me if I need them. I also run a page on Instagram along with a friend of mine where we talk about our struggles with Bipolar Disorder. This acts as an outlet for me.<\/span><\/p>\nI am seeking therapy for myself and have been on medication for two years now. I have good days and bad ones. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nOn particularly bad days, it all tends to come down on me and I am tempted to kill myself, even self harm but I think that is when it becomes even more important for me to surround myself with people who care about me. <\/span><\/p>\nI have a very supportive psychiatrist and with his help, I have managed to \u201cmanage\u201d those thoughts and impulses. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nHe is very compassionate and also passionate about what he does. He has educated my family about my condition and how they can help me. <\/span>Now, I am able to approach my parents if at all, I feel like I am not doing too well. They are very understanding and we have even created a safety plan together.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
People have this misconception that suicide is selfish but in truth, it is an abject of hopelessness. It is a measure of our pain.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nEven at the moment, I am going through a rough patch but I have my doctor with me and that gives me a lot of strength to fight this. It makes me feel a little less alone and helps me believe that recovery is possible. It doesn\u2019t always have to be this way, I can get better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHere\u2019s another important thing about recovery, it is not linear so it is never like once you get better, you never experience it again. <\/span><\/p>\nI think relapses with mental illness are very common and it is not something to be ashamed of. <\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nExperiencing a relapse doesn\u2019t mean that your progress is nullified. That is not true at all. Relapse is a part of progress, it can happen to all of us in some form or the other. One step forward, two steps back – but we still keep trudging on and I think that is what makes it so painfully beautiful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nI look at other people who have been vocal about their attempts and personally look up to them. Their stories have been a source of great strength to me. <\/span><\/p>\nSeeing other people like me, who have been through similar experiences, survive and thrive gives me hope that I can dream of a future where I can live a fulfilling and fruitful life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\nThis keeps me going.<\/span><\/p>\nFor privacy reasons, the author has requested to stay anonymous.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nIf you or someone you know might be battling with suicidal thoughts, please know that we\u2019re here for you. <\/b>Connect immediately with an Expert<\/b><\/a> at YourDOST<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I tried to take my own life when I was 16 years old. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and high school was getting to me. I was also struggling academically and it got to a point that I just couldn\u2019t take it. This is when I attempted to end it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[70],"tags":[170],"class_list":["post-15905","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-trauma-and-ptsd","tag-mental-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15905","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15905"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15905\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15905"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15905"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15905"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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