{"id":13995,"date":"2017-06-27T15:50:51","date_gmt":"2017-06-27T10:20:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=13995"},"modified":"2017-07-04T21:44:48","modified_gmt":"2017-07-04T16:14:48","slug":"how-to-recover-from-a-layoff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2017\/06\/how-to-recover-from-a-layoff.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Process a Layoff & Recover From It"},"content":{"rendered":"

Waking up and going to work is hard. Sitting in your cubicle, working on excel sheets and powerpoint presentations, attending inane meetings and drowning in deadlines was not what you wanted. <\/span>But then came the day, when you were laid off- it hurt, it hurt real bad<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Being laid off is associated with shame, worthlessness and rejection<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I know. I\u2019ve been there.<\/strong> Obviously, I didn\u2019t tell anyone, because acknowledging that I was deemed useless enough to be thrown out was like a knife twisting in my belly. I needed to never speak of it, to never even think of it, to wait out the time when I was unemployed. To constantly feel that \u201call that happens, happens for a good reason\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

How are we to heal? What does recovery look like? Here are a few things to remember:<\/strong> <\/span><\/h2>\n

If it\u2019s painful, it\u2019s normal<\/b><\/h3>\n

Rejection can feel paralyzing. A study<\/a> claims that –<\/span><\/p>\n

when we experience rejection, the same areas of our brain get activated as when we experience physical pain. That\u2019s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Psychologist, Guy Winch discusses why rejection is so debilitating<\/strong>. He shares –<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026the greatest damage rejection causes is usually self-inflicted\u2026We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves. In other words, just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further. Doing so is emotionally unhealthy and psychologically self-destructive yet every single one of us has done it at one time or another<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Self-compassion is tremendously important<\/b><\/h3>\n

Even if you\u2019re fired once, your mind replays that \u00a0moment again and again, wherein you keep re-experiencing the associated emotions. What consistently makes things even harder is the self-criticism.<\/strong> We\u2019re often not compassionate to ourselves at the time of need. In her book,\u00a0<\/span>My Stroke of Insight<\/span><\/i><\/a>, <\/span>Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor<\/span>, mentions that the stress hormone cortisol stays in our bodies for only ninety seconds.<\/strong> This implies that if we experience the same emotions beyond that, it is because we are re-triggering them, and that somewhere, we are controlling how we feel about our lives – success or failure.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Love<\/a><\/p>\n

Self-compassion, according to its prime researcher Kristin Neff, asks us to notice suffering, to be moved by it, and to remember that it is part of the human condition. It requires us, in short to treat ourselves as we would when a friend is in pain. <\/span><\/p>\n

Engaging with others, instead of isolating oneself is a significant act of self compassion. Others include self-care, involving oneself in creative undertakings, and monitoring and editing what we tell ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Putting yourself out there again is scary<\/b><\/h3>\n

When one has experienced a layoff, finding another job, or trying a new venture can often be intensely daunting. There\u2019s always a nagging question even when you go find a new job- do I really belong here? Am I a fraud?<\/strong> Our self-worth, self-esteem, and our self-confidence takes a hit. There is increasing evidence to show that our body and role changes shape the mind.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Something we can try, when we feel like we don\u2019t belong, is power poses. What are power poses?<\/strong> Think of a state where you feel confident and powerful- and mimic that expression through your body- it can be the way you stand, the way you sit or the way you carry yourself. The way we move has an effect on how we feel, think and act. We could really use some good feeling at moments like these. <\/span><\/p>\n

Mastering the art of resilience<\/b><\/h3>\n

What makes some trauma survivors thrive while some take decades to rebuild their lives? <\/span><\/p>\n

Psychologist and researcher Brene Brown, who has extensively studied the physics of vulnerability and shame, says <\/span><\/p>\n

Embracing failure without acknowledging the real hurt and fear that it can cause, or the complex journey that underlies rising strong, is gold-plating grit. To strip failure of its real emotional consequences is to scrub the concepts of grit and resilience of the very qualities that make them both so important \u2014 toughness, doggedness, and perseverance<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

These qualities speak of resilience. That is what makes the difference. <\/span><\/p>\n

If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall; this is the physics of vulnerability<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

says Brown. <\/span><\/p>\n

Dealing with the Vacuum<\/b><\/h3>\n

For a lot of us, a layoff opens up a whole new world of existential crisis. It brings about an existential vacuum- a feeling of profound pointlessness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Existential<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to not sugar coat it- that this was good- maybe not just yet. It is, however, important to acknowledge the hurt, and to remember that suffering is a difficult but necessary thread interwoven into the fabric of our lives. In his book, <\/span>Man\u2019s Search for Meaning<\/span><\/i>, \u00a0<\/span>Viktor E. Frankl<\/span><\/a> explains <\/span><\/p>\n

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms\u2014to choose one\u2019s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one\u2019s own way<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

An existential crisis requires us to come face to face with the unknown, face the questions and accept the fact that we will have more questions than answers. It allows us to be in a space of discomfort which mustn\u2019t be brushed away. We need to make meaning of our lives. When we go through times where everything seems futile, we must indulge in our meaning making process.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b>In conclusion, I can tell you one thing with complete surety, recovering from a layoff takes time- and that\u2019s okay. You can and will do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

This article is a part of \u00a0#Fired2FiredUp Campaign by YourDOST.\u00a0Visit the page<\/a>\u00a0for real life stories, learnings and tips from\u00a0career psychologists and recruiters.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Have you experienced a layoff recently? Are\u00a0you finding it difficult to cope with it?\u00a0Talk to an Expert<\/a>\u00a0at YourDOST.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Waking up and going to work is hard. Sitting in your cubicle, working on excel sheets and powerpoint presentations, attending inane meetings and drowning in deadlines was not what you wanted. But then came the day, when you were laid off- it hurt, it hurt real bad. Being laid off is associated with shame, worthlessness […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[107,36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-job-loss","category-work-careers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13995","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}